The Samsung Umbrella Corporation

I am in the midst of eating a half a pound of cheese so I can salvage the other pound and a half from going bad. This is going to be brutal. The things I do. But you know what? I can't get this cheese anywhere else, so I'm adamant about saving the pound and a half. Along those same lines, something I ate is raping my insides viciously and without mercy. Ok, let's get down to business.

What does Samsung make in the U.S.? What, some electronics? Some phones, some TVs or something? In Korea, they are a mega-giant corporation who makes everything. At first, I didn't really notice, but I started looking at the brand names on things and realized they make a lot of shit. In addition to electronics, which we all know Samsung for, they build appliances (my range is a Samsung), they built the locks in my apartment, they make cars, they build ships, they make weapons, they sell life insurance, they own newspapers, they build buildings. Here's something you may not have known, Samsung built not only the Petronas towers, but also the Taipei 101 and the Burj Khalifa (which I will probably always call the Burj Dubai).

I want to tell you something about Samsung. Samsung owns South Korea. The proof of this is that about a week ago, the former CEO of Samsung, Lee Kun-hee, announced that he is returning to again lead Samsung as "chairman." This is after resigning last year when he was caught bribing important Korean officials. He was sentenced to, like, seven years in prison and a huge fine, but when he didn't respond to the sentence, he was officially pardoned by the South Korean government. Does that say anything about Samsung's relationship with South Korea or what? Do you think that good ol' Amurrica would do the same thing for, say, Bill Gates so shamelessly? Samsung is the reason I am alive or dead within these borders. They are the mafia here. I will obediently continue buying Samsung products because I am obligated to love Samsung with all my heart. And I do, with all my heart.

Ok, I'm going to take yet another Samsung dump. Oh, at least I cleaned my apartment with my Samsung flavored all purpose Samsung cleaner. Annyeong Samsungeyo!