Haha. You guys are like, "What the...?" Yeah, I kind of was too. This was our entertainment for the evening. Remember how I was hoping for table dances and lollipop gingersnaps? Well, I got both with our evening's entertainment. Granted, the only person who table danced was a 300 lb. black man from Atlanta and the lollipop was the songs that these girls karaoked up for us. Still, I think they're gonna make it. They've got panache. Ok, actually I'm lying about the table dancing. The only 300 lb. black man from Atlanta table dancing was in my head. But there was a 300 lb. black man from Atlanta there. Actually, I'd say he's closer to 400. Maybe pushing 450. "Biggest mofo in Korea" type of guy. But he's real nice. Yew know how them Sutherners awre.
Alright, I got a lot to cover with you folks, so pay attention. Now that there's no more excuses about that damn Folk Village and Ceramics joint, I'm going to post on that stuff probably tomorrow. Look out, chilluns, you're gonna get...VIDEO! That's right, the movin' flicker shows are coming to World Class Flaneur soon.
So, this post is going to be all over the place, because I have several different topics that I want to hit on. I figure the structure of my post will be like this:
A disgusting bowel movement between two pieces of bread. But seriously, let's move on to the subject of the title of this post. Today, after helping the Man set up my internets, Mr. Lee took me to Apsan Park, which is the home of Mt. Apsan. Mt. Apsan offers commanding views of Daegu when the yellow dust and clouds and smog don't interrupt your sight distance (I know, it's probably a crime I even say such things about Daegu. It is green and clean and colorful, after all). Anyway, the park is real nice. What really struck me as far as differences go in this type of park is how paved and parky this place was. I know, I sound like a mumbling retard, but what I'm trying to say is that in the U.S., this type of park, wherein you hike up a mountain, would be rugged with dirt trails and not many amenities. Here, the paths are paved and wide enough that cars sometimes drive on them, they are lined with convenience stores, tennis courts, and randomly thrown in gym equipment. I mean it's not like there is no nature. There is tons of it, in nice, clearly managed portions. There's even a cable car to take you up to the summit if you don't feel like going the distance.
Mr. Lee's and my particular trip began with some freakishly nice weather. Weather I had not experienced since California nice. When we got to Apsan Park, we were greeted with a Korean War Memorial Museum, called the Nakdong River Victory Memorial Hall. It had some Korean War artifacts and it dropped some knowledge on me. By the time we began climbing the mountain, the cool breeze was so refreshing. About 20 minutes later, the clouds came in and everything got dark and all the Koreans ran for cover as though Grendel was about to come down from the mountain and begin murdering the villagers. When in Rome, right? We swiftly trekked down the mountain and got back on the bus to Seomun Market. I gave him some Virginia peanuts as a parting gift and to say thank you. He's so nice. He wanted to take me to the sauna. I'm definitely not ready for that yet. Especially with my landlord. That would be super weird. Maybe in a couple of months when my balls swell to the size of Kim Jong Il's ego.
Alright, so let's move on to why I'm here: the children. I got some hate mail that I'm being sexist by only including the boys' English names. Ok, so to appease the masses, here are the top four girl English names in my classes: Victory, Jelly, Eather, and Vianka. The Undertaker still wins, deprived ladies. I think you all should just relish in the fact that the female students are smart enough to pick mostly normal names. Most I've talked to are in agreement that the girl students are usually on the same page with English, while the boys are of vastly different levels. The best English speakers are the boys, but so are the worst speakers.
So, remember the autograph thing? Yeah, apparently now it's become a badge of coolness to have my ol' John Hancock written on a student's hand. So they all hound me to write on their palms. I guess as long as it stays innocent and my signature doesn't become some kind of black market currency at the school, I'm ok with it.
Listen, I was going to talk about toilets and spiders (a killing combination) but now that I have the internets I have some mass downloading to do so I'll save it for next time. To recap, in future posts I still have to cover:
- Korean Folk Village
- Icheon Ceramics
- Toilets
- Spiders
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