Folk Ceramic Toilet Spiders

I'm so good to you folks. Here's some pics from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away:

What are these mammajammas? These, my friends, are photos from the Korean Folk Village. We got the privilege of seeing a traditional Korean music performance thingy. I tried putting some video on here for yous, but blogger wasn't having it so I told myself that you weren't worth the effort. The second performance was too hard for the males to watch, so I did not capture it on the digital celluloid. Anyway, the Korean Folk Village was pretty neat. Attached to it was a little theme park and a sculpture garden. This may have been the best part of that day:

It was immediately dubbed the "Love Mushroom." Hey, at least it loves me. Slut.

You know, the details of that day have become blurry as time has passed on, but I told you I'd post about it. I remember a traditional toilet and the toilet goddess. The second part of the day was the Icheon Ceramics place. We watched a video wherein the praises of Icheon Ceramics were being sung a little too loud. When the video said, "The jade made my eyesight better!" I knew something was fishy. Also, when we met our tour guide, that was the first time that I noticed that a lot of Koreans could possibly be distant cousins of the Cusack family. Some of them have that Cusack look to them. Or, do the Cusacks just have some Korean in them? Perhaps I have just stumbled on to some dark, sordid secret that the Cusacks have been trying to keep in the closet for decades. I smell blackmail coming. Does anyone have either John or Joan's address?

Let's see, do I have any interesting pictures from that place to show you?

Oh, nope. It's just a rabbit passing a tiger the opium pipe. At least the tiger is really into it. I feel like the ceramics place was just a ploy to get us to buy some pottery. It was a nice place and all, but necessary? Probably not. Ronnie had the right idea when he suggested we skip out to go to the hot springs. I should have taken him up on it.

Ok. Toilets. So toilets in Korea range from strange, futuristic contraptions with buttons and scary noises down to holes in the floor. All have some kind of urinal, nicer places have the throne, whereas in bars and places where you'd never touch the walls you'll always find your friendly neighborhood squatter and usually the two genders are not separated. It's like urinal and then squatter stall for the ladies, both in the same room. I wanted to take a minute to paint the picture of my school bathroom. First of all, it's always cold. It's colder in the bathroom than it is outside. I'm not going into the smell. You can guess on that one. So, I go in, do ma thang, making sure to avoid the fecal stains that children somehow get on the walls. I don't understand that, but whatever. The worst part that makes me want to just hold it until I get home is the water that comes out of the sink. I am not sure how it's still in liquid form. Seriously, does my school have a pipe leading directly to Siberia where they tap sub glacial waters for the sink? And the kicker is that they don't have any paper towels to dry anything, so I look like an asshole coming out of the bathroom every time when I'm shivering and my hands are three seconds away from frostbite. I whip 'em around for air drying, but eventually just wipe them all over my clothes. They're all wrinkled anyway, so it's fine.

Spiders are neat, aren't they? Dynamic little creatures that can adapt to any corner of a first floor Korean apartment despite the presence of their friends' and family's dead bodies. I can tell that summer is going to be a nightmare here when it comes to little crawling things. I have a couple of months to think about whether I should approach it aggressively or just embrace it, becoming their king. As long as they don't crawl up my nose while I'm sleeping, right?

Ok, I have an important question that nobody will answer, I'd bet. Why didn't anyone tell me that Corey Haim died? You guys had over a week to think about how best to tell me, but instead you let me find out on Yahoo!? What gives? Yeah, ok, I guess I have to rethink my approach to the Corey Haim Comeback Fundraiser I was going to have.