Thanksgiving and Hereafter

Yessir, I had a Thanksgiving. Here's proof:Granted, I'm not in any of those pictures so I could have just Googled them and downloaded some randoms or something, but I'm sure you trust me at this point. That's a long way to go to fabricate a lie, don't you think? And I wouldn't keep...talking about it if I were lying because to continue to talk about it means you're trying to cover up something. Like a lie.

Anyway, I took these pictures toward the beginning of the party as opposed to the end, when there were about six hundred more people and they were stabbing each other with turkey bones just to get the last slice of pumpkin pie. Actually, the hosts, a wonderful couple from Memphis, TN, ended up having quite a bit of leftovers to choose from.

After the food digesting began, we made our way to Kyungpook to watch our friends' band play at a bar. Here's proof of that as well: So, at this point I've got visual evidence of my whole night on Saturday. Lest you think I was in Vegas partying with strippers or something. Which is totally not what happened on Saturday.

So, yesterday I stumbled on to this entertaining site called "Uncyclopedia" (erm, maybe the more easily offended should avoid it) which is just like a Wikipedia, but a bit more politically incorrect. I looked at the South Korea page specifically. Although riddled with fake facts concerning Starcraft and kimchi farts, it did actually have two interesting facts (that are true) about the Korean language:

'If you're on a date in Korea, you can say "Da-li yeppo", which means both "the moon looks beautiful" (달이 예뻐) and "you've got nice legs" (다리 예뻐).'

'Korean is the only known language in which "my place of work" and "my rectum" are both, perhaps appropriately, the same word: jik-jang (직장).'

You should check out the United States of America page, too.

Did anyone reading this ever play Doom or Area 51 or Wolfenstein or one of those first person shooter games that came out before the Nintendo 64 existed? I feel like I play that game whenever I'm in school except instead of zombies or Nazis popping out and shooting at me, it's kids popping out and saying hello. In those games, monsters pop out of secret places and scare you and shoot at you, whereas in my life kids pop out of secret places like trash cans and toilet stalls and shoot at me with "hello" and I have to respond in due time or I lose life. Whenever I pass a teacher, it's like encountering a boss because I can't just say "hello" and be done with it. No, I have to blurt out "annyeong haseyo" (안녕 하세요) and bow. Some times, especially on Mondays, I literally forget how to move my mouth to utter this phrase and it comes out "mmummmble-seyo" and I bow and they bow and we go about our day as though I wasn't an inept Korean speaker.

Gobble Gobble

GobblegobblegobblegobblegobblegobbleIhateyougobblegobblegobblegobblegobblegobblegobblegobble. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. While you're gobbledy gobbling down turkey or whatever substitute you like to eat, I'll be working at work on a normal Thursday. For those of you who asked if they celebrate Turkey Day in Korea, well...you better have just been teasing me about me missing it. Fear not, citizens. I will be celebrating Turkey Day with the best of them...only on Saturday instead of Thursday. Yes, yes, blasphemy, I know. But! I get a day to celebrate the greatest day of gluttony in America. What I don't get is this:Curses to you Americans in America who get to sample this fruit. You are reading it correctly. Turkey & Gravy Soda by Jones Soda Co. complete with two blue balls. The symbolism there must be coincidental. I'm really curious, to be honest. It must either betray true turkey and gravy flavor to be palatable or it must be really damn disgusting.

Either way, I'm going to Costco tonight to pick up the bestest Costco made pumpkin pie I can find. I don't care if everybody else brings pumpkin pie to the potluck on Saturday. That just means there will be plenty of it. What's Thanksgiving without pumpkin pie? You may also ask out loud, to the horror of those who can overhear you talking to yourself, "Will you have turkey on this Turkey Day of turkey days? The answer to your question is a loud, resounding, "If they deliver it to the proper address."

You see, dear readers, our local expat magazine, "Daegu Pockets," has been kind enough to find a way to deliver cooked turkeys directly to your door. Without this service, I imagine it would be nearly impossible to find a turkey. Most Koreans I have spoken to have never tried turkey. Explaining the taste is a bit difficult. "Well, it's like chicken, but not. Kind of. Uh...it's bigger?" So, props to the 'Pockets crew for getting that hurdle jumped.

Anyway, has anyone found a solution to my video editing problem yet? Get working, people! I don't pay you for nothing!

Also, may the happiest of Thanksgivings unfurl itself before you on this day (Wish the same for me on Saturday, you selfish jerks).

Thoughts on North Korea and Google Translate

I was going to post on yodeling and perhaps the conundrum of farting with thin walls, but the North Koreans made my topic much more interesting. Let's talk about them. Hopefully, since this post is published so close to the last one, everyone will forget about the preceding post below. Especially since I just pointed it out.

Yesterday while I was at school, I received news that North Korea had attacked. My heart sunk immediately, until I read what really happened. South Korea was doing some routine military exercises (defense exercises at that). This involved shooting artillery rounds into the sea to the south and west, away from North Korea. North Korea fired 200 artillery rounds at the island, burning some stuff, killing two, and injuring a dozen more or so. The South reacted by shooting 80 rounds back and deploying fighter jets that make it look like the South flexed or something.

Normally, there are really imposing U.S. warships helping the South Koreans out while doing their military drills on this island. This time, they were missing, giving the North the chance to fire without much of a rebuttal. This comes at a time when North Korea is desperate. They are starving to death and they want attention.

In the wake of this, many non-Koreans are panicking. "OMG!WhatiftheNorthattacksandwe'reallstuckherewhatarewegonnadowhatarewegonnadowherestheliquorandtheguns?" To this I say, balogna. Baloney. Balonie. Baylognia. Just look at the locals. Are they freaking out? No. They've been part of this equation a lot longer than you have. To them I ask, "Is this serious?" They kind of chuckle and say, "This happen a bely opten. No wolly, no wolly." Indeed, in the Spring the North sank the Cheonan. Since I've been here there has been an instance of gunfire on the DMZ. This stuff happens. Indeed, maybe we all just pay attention to Korean news more on my behalf. It's probably akin to when you buy a new car and you suddenly see that everyone else bought your same car, too. Honestly, I'm not worried, therefore you shouldn't be either.

Since the news put North Korea in the forefront of our minds, a friend and I discussed the average cost of a meal in North Korea pretty ad nauseam. We did algebra that I hadn't done since my freshman year of college. That's how into it we were. We took the Big Mac Index in the U.S. ($3.57) over its average yearly salary ($46,381), equal to X over North Korea's average yearly salary ($1,244). Solve for X. According to this formula, the average meal in North Korea is a little over 10 cents. That's based on life in North Korea being as fair as it is in the U.S. (which still ain't that fair). Instead of a meal costing 15 North Korean Won as it would according to our formula, it ends up costing much more. Let's look at some data:

According to GoodFriends: North Korea Today, the price of 1 kg of rice, as of January 2010(which is long ago, but still after the currency went all googly eyed on them) was, on average, about 270 won. That's $1.89. Now, a 10 lb. bag of rice costs $18.99 according to Amazon.com. Let's do the math: 10 lbs is equal to ~4.5 kg. With that in mind, 1 kg of rice costs roughly $4.22 in the U.S. That's pretty close to the Big Mac Index. Let's convert how much 1 kg of rice really costs to the average North Korean into terms we Americans can understand. Using the same formula as above, that 10 lb. bag of rice would cost you $317.10 instead of $18.99. That's a pretty large jump in price, wouldn't you say? No wonder the North Koreans are starving to death.

I think I did more research for this blog post than any post before in the history of time. On a lighter note, remember that paragraph that I wrote in Korean last post that I was hoping you forgot about but definitely didn't now that I mentioned I wrote a paragraph in Korean? Well, to save you the trouble, I plugged that puppy into Google translate and here's what came up

"Today, I went to school. Student is an idiot. Now, I'm hungry too. I could eat breakfast. At lunch, terrified that I want to eat rib. Eojae 8:00 50 minutes, I saw the movie hyejinrang. 'Social network' I saw it. Okay."

It was close. I'll give it that. However, I can assure you what I really said was more grammatically correct and made more sense. Here's what I said: "Today, I went to school. The students are idiots. Now, I'm too hungry. I didn't eat breakfast. At lunch, I hope I eat a terrible rib soup (sarcasm). Yesterday at 8:50, I saw a movie with Haejin. We saw 'The Social Network.' It was good."

Here's a little insight into Korean (as if you care). Let's take a simple verb: 피곤하다 (pee-gon-ha-da). To be tired. Now, if I write it like this--피곤해 (pee-gon-hae)--it opens up a world of possible meanings. It could mean "I am tired," "you are tired," "he is tired," "she is tired," "are you tired?" "am I tired?" "who is tired?" etc. Technically, since there is no question mark the implication is that it's a statement, however, when spoken, you don't see a question mark come out of someone's mouth. It's more ambiguous that way. The interesting thing about Korean is that just a verb can act as an entire sentence, given the subject and/or the object is implied by both listener and speaker. In this way, Google translate is notoriously treacherous. We have made it a fun game to plug work emails into it to see what little gems come up. Entertainment, I tell ya. Entertainment.

Usually with single words it's fine though. Anyway, this post turned out to be real long. Good job reading all this, or at least skimming. I don't blame you. But it's all interesting to me.

Filling Up The Month A Bit

Yes, I will get into a frenzy of blog posting about probably nothing or next to nothing to make up for the fact that I can't keep a schedule on where and when it is appropriate to blog. I do have one large frustration to vent here though.

I have several videos from my year here that I would really like to plug into Windows Movie Maker (WMM) and edit the crap out of. I want to make a video that compiles video and pictures from my first year here in Korea so's I can show the folks desperately waiting to see me (and I them) back in the homeland. The problem is that my camera records video in .MOV format, which is kind of retarded in the first place, but also creates a huge problem for me. Windows Movie Maker (WMM) does not recognize .MOV files because that file type is normally seen in Macs. I troubleshot with the ever helpful "Help" option in WMM, and it directed me to a website wherein I can download some nice and free program that would supposedly convert .MOV files to .AVI files.

This would be an immense help to me...except it doesn't work. It'll take its time and act like it's doing something. It'll get my hopes up, telling me that it really loves me and it'll massage my back and reassure me that I'm the only one. It'll be real sweet and cook me dinner once every month or so. It'll even go so far as to create the .AVI file to trick me into trusting it. Then I find it in a bar downtown with some other file type. It's usually .WMV or .MPG. They're the neighborhood sluts. It'll tell me it's not what it looks like, but I know better. When it comes home late from work, I can smell the processing. I end up taking it back every time, thinking next time there won't be a next time and it'll make my .AVI file for me, but alas, Windows Media Player (WMP...or Wimp as I like to call it) and WMM can never read it. I want to slug them each in their respective programmed faces. I also want to slug my camera for recording in that very elitist format in the first place. I also want to slug the program I downloaded for not properly converting my file to an .AVI.

I apologize. I should have warned you that the preceding paragraph was kind of technical and perhaps nonsensical. Does anyone have any suggestions as to a fix to this problem? It's bugging me and I have two or three weeks in January that would be perfect to just sit and edit video all day. I kind of miss that from college...

In news everyone can understand, I have an itchy rash on my neck. Yeah, it's real cute. The ladies go nuts for me. At first I thought it was from my shaving cream, as I recently ran out of the stash I brought from Amurrica and converted to a Korean brand. I stopped using it and the rash slowly receded back into its dark and lonely cave. I was certain I arose victorious. But then again, I thought the same thing about my battle with the collection agency that I couldn't prove was wrong but was definitely wrong (hint: they don't leave you alone. They hide and you hide, and you think it's over, but they find you. They are the Jason Voorhees of finance.).

Then, yesterday, it was super windy cold, so I buttoned up my wool pea coat all the way to the top and flipped the collar (no, I'm not a frat boy) to protect my body warmth from impending hypothermia. This morning, the rash had not only come out of its dark and lonely cave, but it set up lawn chairs and a grill and a little rebel flag to indicate that it had claimed my neck for at least a long Labor Day weekend. I finally determined that it must be because I'm allergic to the wool. Is that possible? Are people allergic to wool only in one place on their body? Does that piss anyone else off? Am I going to stop wearing my pea coat because of it? Hell no, nerka! That janx was Spensive. I'm gonna ride this train until it breaks down or collides into a mountain or a town or careens into a ravine. If I still have a neck rash when I come to America, you'll know I'm a war weary hardened rash veteran.

In the last bit of news, since I've been surrounding myself with more Koreans (mainly just one female one), my Korean ability has skyrocketed at least 200%. I bet I could write a whole paragraph in Korean. Let's try:

오늘, 학교에 갔어. 학생이 바보예요. 지금, 나는 너무 배고파. 아침 먹을 없었어. 점심에서, 무서은 갈비탕을 먹고 싶어. 어재 8시50분에, 혜진랑 영화를 봤어. '소셜네트워크'를 봤어. 좋아.

Ok, let's all give a round of applause! That short paragraph is about as complex as I can get. It's about the level of a 1st grader, if that. What does it say? Good question. Answers pending. Any guesses? Hush up, Koreans.

This blog post was brought to you by three nights of sleep deprivation and a poor man's diet. Come on, Thursday...

Take Me Home Tonight

Yes, I realize how poor of taste I have by not updating my blog for a full seven days. Especially when I was already backlogged seven days. Yes, I realize that this month may turn out to be the one with the lowest output yet. No, you don't have to rub it in my face. It's not my fault. Seriously, blame the Backstreet Boys for making "I Want It That Way" however many years ago and it still playing in certain Korean establishments I frequent. I lay depressed in my bed instead of updating my blog. It's one of those things that is akin to when I heard that some Army guy punched Monkey, the benevolent (and tiny, like a monkey) bartender in the face. You kind of lose a little faith in the future of mankind when injustices like that occur.

Anyway, I do have some news for you. Things happened over the last two weeks that I haven't told you about. First, the most important (and expensive) news:

I have booked my flight home...and back to Korea. That's called a round trip, kids. I will be heading to the land of the hoodwinked free on January 22nd, a Saturday, in the year of our Lord 2011. I will be returning to the land of maniacal ajummas on February 22nd (leaving the 21st). During my month of 불싵ing around Virginia, I would like to:

Eat my favorite meals (and subsequently get fat)

Drink good wine (and subsequently get drunk?)

See everyone on my list of people to see

Procure a year's worth of supplies that I now know I can't get easily in Korea

Celebrate Christmas

Buy a new camera (the old one is fine, but come on, bra. It's a little silly and I get frustrated sometimes)

Visit somewhere I've never been/haven't been to in a very long time (I'm eyeing you, Mt. Vernon/Gettysburg)

Now, for the second, less exciting (but cheaper!) news: I had my play on Saturday last. Here's the full cast:
Sorry, not in costume. We were done and it was hot in those things, so we changed immediately after finishing. But, it was fun. The little chilluns liked it, and there is a video in existence. Now, there's just the matter of getting hold of a copy. Also, the kids were aware of our coming to their school, so they made these cute little posters for us:This is just a small sample of a hallway filled with posters. So sweet, those little kids. Sixth graders have a heart after all. Actually, their teacher most likely made them do it, but still. It's nice enough.

Yesterday, Sunday, I went with some folks down by the river (sorry, there was no van or sighting of Chris Farley) to toss a frisbee around. I'm actually not really a hippie. The weather was nice enough that you hardly needed a jacket and I was trying not to feel lazy. Here's a nice river shot for you folks...Yes, that's a fountain and not a school of fish putting on a visual spectacle for the Korean masses. Actually, I have felt like a semi large writer's block has wedged itself into my brain lately. Coupled with apathy, that's a death-knell for a blog. I don't want it to get to that point. I am also poor (as I have paid for a plane ticket home [round trip, remember?]) and am feeling the pinch lately. This diminishes the chance for crazy Korean mishaps. I will try to think of other things to instead fill this blog with. Oh, woe is me.

Last Monday! A Week Late! Don't Rub It In!

Ahem, so last Monday (surprisingly after I made my last valid post [also, don't you hate it when food gets stuck in your laptop keyboard because you're too lazy to eat elsewhere and your spacebar gets all sticky {I'm not really sure what that had to do with anything...}?]) my school was featured in TBC's TV show of something or other involving area elementary schools.

Here's how it goes down. Basically, a big ol' van full of equipment and a control room shows up and starts setting up cameras at certain vantage points around the dirt track. When this happens, it's a signal that it's perfectly OK for gym teachers to smoke outside where students can easily see them as long as they make the excuse that all the TV guys are doing it too, so why can't they?

It doesn't contradict the healthy lifestyle they're trying to promote through their classes, it just shows that one can both be physically active and smoke a pack a day at the same time.

The only excitement in the morning is all the racket they're making: testing mics, hammering, yelling, driving, honking, etc. Gets all the students riled up for the coming attractions. The real fun begins after lunch. They get all the 5th and 6th graders together in a big rectangle in the middle of the dirt track and sit 'em down for a while. Gets the suspense building. They give them drums and those air stick things that you hit together and make noise with and let them get that out of their system for a minute. It's go time...

Cameras on cranes swoop in and out with kids continuously making obnoxious sounds and the establishing shots are gotten and the hosts come out and do their intro and there's a rocket display (our school specializes in rockets, I think) and noise competitions and trivia game competitions and teachers trying to look stoic and inconspicuous, but still strategically placed to be in all the shots and the children continuing to scream until they sound like asthmatic emphazymics (the name of my new instrumental jam band, coincidentally), all leading up to the grand finale.

There, are, it turns out two schools in attendance. The second eluded me for almost the entirety of the shoot, but soon a troupe of mothers reared and cheered for a rival school (do elementary schools even have rivals?) and out came the contenders: 8 rough looking inner city kids, their rough looking inner city gym teacher, and one of their rough looking inner city mothers. Those must have been the roughest looking inner city group of Koreans I'd ever seen. I think some of them had tattoos (you know, the tears? Where each tear tattooed on their cheek counts as one person they've killed? It might have been a mole...). Anyway, these rough-ians (haha, get it?) teamed up against a similarly comprised team representing my school for a run-to-the-death relay race.

We really had no chance from the beginning. Our first runner was mysteriously prison shanked seconds before the starting gun fired, giving the other school at least five seconds lead. When the teachers had their relay, my school's teacher was clearly faster. The problem was that the other school took a lesson straight from Dick Dastardly's Book of Dirty Tricks and switched the road signs, so he ended up going the wrong way...

I later found out that the winning school's prize was that their native English teacher got to go on a date with all the Samsung Lions cheerleaders. I'm really glad we didn't win now...

So, back in reality land, I've about exhausted everything I have. So, until next time, eh?

Forgive Me, Minions...er, Readers

The alley that I live on has turned into an icy wind tunnel wherein Jack Frost breathes his cold, freezing farts that penetrate any number of layers I may be wearing that day. Why have you forsaken me, Korea?

In other alley news, why, suddenly, did I see pigeons yesterday? I didn't know birds existed in Korea. All those stray cats will make short work of them, surely.

Meat and potatoes time.

Meat and Potatoes: On Sunday, I went to Sachoom, a dance musical that was part of the Korea In Motion Festival. There were no words (for the most part). We had to interpret it through body motion and the instincts of our soul. What I gathered is that the story was mostly about a boy who fell in love with some standard Korean hottie, but she was deciding between him and the school jerk based on their dance skills. Our hero could not dance, thus she went with the jerk. The jerk continued to be a jerk and his little dance entourage continued to show up the protagonist in their superior dance skills. Finally, our hero has a series of dreams in which his friend teaches him how to dance using poles and mops and buckets. In the end there is a dance-off between the jerk and his posse and the boy and his random new posse. They, I suppose, decide that they can both have the girl? and divvy up odd and even weekends, because they end up dancing together in a friendly way and the girl doesn't seem partial to either of them. Maybe it was a little over my head.

Guys, I've got more, but I've been sitting on this one paragraph for a week now. I truly have been kind of busy at work (surprisingly) so I haven't had the time to think fo random crap to post here. I do have things to update on. I just wanted to get this out because it's been a week since I last updated you on anything. Now I only have to update you on 5 days of activity as opposed to 7. Go me. And...I'msorryHey, look errybody! I've been working out and exercising and eating healthy!:

Psh. No, that's not a picture of Dolph Lundgren as He-Man...that's me. This candid photograph was taken one day in the classroom while I was thinking of how to say something very complex in Korean. I'm practically fluent, you know.

The Style Is Everything

Living in Korea, it has become apparent to me that your "style" is everything. Style is used much more commonly here than in the U.S. Stores advertise using slogans about a certain style or just style itself; kids talk about doing something "ajumma style"; ...and I don't have a third example to complete this triad, so I'll make something up...President Lee Myung-bak makes speeches about expected upcoming spring and fall styles all the time.

Thus, style is important. I want to discuss with you at least two styles that I have noticed around here. First, this pattern:

Let's talk about this pattern for a second. For those of you living here in Korea, you probably recognize it. The fact that I could reproduce it on MS Paint from memory says something. If you don't recognize it, look out your window. You'll probably see it somewhere. What I'm getting at is that it's everywhere. It took me a while to realize it. The first time I saw it was pretty early on. Maybe a month into my contract, my co-teacher gave me an umbrella with this design on it. I have since lost said umbrella during a night of drunken mishaps, but the pattern was memorable enough that when I saw someone wearing a scarf with this pattern, I noticed. "Hey, that's the matching scarf to my umbrella!" I thought, and carried on with my life.

I didn't start looking for it until I saw it twice in one day. "Hey, that's the matching visor to that scarf and that shirt and that belt and that glove set and that skirt and that flag and that throw blanket and that other glove set that matches my umbrella!" I thought. Then I stopped. Hmm, that's a really common pattern in Korea. To me, it looks like a really crappy wrapping paper from Christmas 1982. Your Atari 2600 was wrapped in that paper. Steve Perry wore that pattern on stage. That dull cigarette smoke stained off-white background and the silly red lines not really complimenting the varying shades of puke tinted black. For some reason, Korea can't get enough of this pattern. Just look for it then next time you're out. I saw it three times today in my school.

Next, let's talk about a really sad one that we all knew was inevitable:

"Hey, Steve, why is there a picture of the American flag above this text?"

"Because, Timmy, we're being sold out by The Man."

Walk around in Korea for a day and if you don't see an American flag on someone's shirt, I'll give you ten bucks. Seriously. It won't do you much good here and I'll have to go through a lot of trouble to get a ten dollar bill, but I'll do it. That's how confident I am that you won't be able to complete the temple challenge (obviously, you could walk around a forest all day and not see it, but seriously, we all know and accept that as cheating...Koreans are not qualified [see last post]). The American flag has become nothing more than a brand, a style, an image.

What if it was cool to wear shirts with the Ukranian flag on it? How would Ukranians feel? I'll tell you how I feel. I don't want to salute it when I see it on some kid's shirt, I want to punch my nearest politician in the face. Clearly, our flag is not sacred if putting it on a t-shirt with the words "American Style" below it is used solely to make money. Am I a gun-toting, Bible thumping Tea Partier? No. Not at all. I think it's on the shirt for the wrong reasons. It's exploitation of something that should be taken seriously. If it's illegal to burn the flag or even place it on the ground, this should not be ok.

"But Steve. They're wearing it because they support us."

"Timmy. Shut up. You're out of your element."

How many Korean elementary school students do you think could find the U.S. on a map? How many know what U.S.A. stands for? I'm guessing less than half. They don't know what they're wearing on their shirts. It's a statement. It's an image. It's a trend. America has become a trend to fill The Man's pockets. How do you feel about that?

I'm not sure what's worse. The previous paragraphs or the fact that I couldn't find an American flag t-shirt when the World Cup was going on. The one time you need The Man to come through for you...

Avert Your Eyes! This Is Reality!

It seems almost unfair that something eventful happens right after I write a hummer-ful of uneventful turds. But then again, so properly fitting. Today (notice the date of this post [I'm getting all crazy on you folks!]) was my school's festival. What festival? I don't know, we'll call it the Happy Student Trying Festival of Lights. Were there lights? No, but most things about this festival are misleading. Basically, all the parents come in and the students show them stuff. Each class has a showcase of their students' talents, as well as a music performance (each class has a song).


I have gathered that Koreans more or less don't care if something is fake. Give me a show. I don't care if it's real life or not. This can be exemplified by the art display. Students displayed their art all over the school. I wish I had brought my camera to show you some examples of the incredible art these "children" made. Some of this shit could be in a museum. Not like a classical Leonardo type museum, but like a van Gogh or Picasso type of museum. This stuff was insane. I couldn't make the art they made and I'm an adult with an understanding of perception and a basic grasp of mixing colors. No, no, one thing is clear to me. Thier moms helped them and it's totally accepted or this country is damn naive.


"Oh, Min-ji, look at this flawless reproduction of a springtime mountain vista you made. Your expert employment of chiaroscuro shading goes above and beyond even an art student's ability. You're a talented artist! A+!" Or do they see it as, "Oh, Min-ji, you had help on your project. You must have good parents who love you very much. Good job. A+!" In America, we call that cheating and frown upon it. There was the occasional student work that was obviously done solely by the student, and it stood out. To me, it stood out as genuine. It evoked much more emotion from me, however minimal, than something that was obviously concocted with help from others (or if not done entirely by others).


Each class's show was, however, really effing cute. I saw a magic show, a hapkido show, a group dance show, and many children singing. I especially liked the integration of "empty plastic water bottleist" into a traditional Korean drum ensemble. I always did appreciate the increasingly rare empty plastic water bottleist virtuoso. The Great Figaro Dasani was probably the last one I can think of to grace our shrinking and warming planet.


Let's get back to the bigger problem. Korea's acceptance of things that are fake. More importantly, me complaining about Korea's acceptance of the artificial. This acceptance goes above and beyond looking the other way when students get help on their art projects. Let's take a look at what a vast majority of men enjoy looking at: women. I have heard various statistics ranging from one quarter to the almost unbelievable number of three quarters of high school girls having had plastic surgery by the time they graduate. Whichever stat you take, that is an alarming number of girls with low self-esteem. Granted, what they get is not Face-Off type of surgery. Usually, they get the epicanthoplasty (double-eyelid surgery) to get a bigger eye and a more "Western" look.


Between the last paragraph and this one, I've done some more research and reports vary considerably. In the end, there is no way of assessing the truth due to the internet not being reliable for data collection and me being too lazy to ask any reliable source for any data. I am just going to do what virtually everyone else does: read one piece of questionable data and base all my opinions around it forevermore, even if I later see equally questionable data refuting it. So...there's no such thing as plastic surgery here and I find myself in the middle of a beautiful woman breeding factory. The end.