Last Monday! A Week Late! Don't Rub It In!

Ahem, so last Monday (surprisingly after I made my last valid post [also, don't you hate it when food gets stuck in your laptop keyboard because you're too lazy to eat elsewhere and your spacebar gets all sticky {I'm not really sure what that had to do with anything...}?]) my school was featured in TBC's TV show of something or other involving area elementary schools.

Here's how it goes down. Basically, a big ol' van full of equipment and a control room shows up and starts setting up cameras at certain vantage points around the dirt track. When this happens, it's a signal that it's perfectly OK for gym teachers to smoke outside where students can easily see them as long as they make the excuse that all the TV guys are doing it too, so why can't they?

It doesn't contradict the healthy lifestyle they're trying to promote through their classes, it just shows that one can both be physically active and smoke a pack a day at the same time.

The only excitement in the morning is all the racket they're making: testing mics, hammering, yelling, driving, honking, etc. Gets all the students riled up for the coming attractions. The real fun begins after lunch. They get all the 5th and 6th graders together in a big rectangle in the middle of the dirt track and sit 'em down for a while. Gets the suspense building. They give them drums and those air stick things that you hit together and make noise with and let them get that out of their system for a minute. It's go time...

Cameras on cranes swoop in and out with kids continuously making obnoxious sounds and the establishing shots are gotten and the hosts come out and do their intro and there's a rocket display (our school specializes in rockets, I think) and noise competitions and trivia game competitions and teachers trying to look stoic and inconspicuous, but still strategically placed to be in all the shots and the children continuing to scream until they sound like asthmatic emphazymics (the name of my new instrumental jam band, coincidentally), all leading up to the grand finale.

There, are, it turns out two schools in attendance. The second eluded me for almost the entirety of the shoot, but soon a troupe of mothers reared and cheered for a rival school (do elementary schools even have rivals?) and out came the contenders: 8 rough looking inner city kids, their rough looking inner city gym teacher, and one of their rough looking inner city mothers. Those must have been the roughest looking inner city group of Koreans I'd ever seen. I think some of them had tattoos (you know, the tears? Where each tear tattooed on their cheek counts as one person they've killed? It might have been a mole...). Anyway, these rough-ians (haha, get it?) teamed up against a similarly comprised team representing my school for a run-to-the-death relay race.

We really had no chance from the beginning. Our first runner was mysteriously prison shanked seconds before the starting gun fired, giving the other school at least five seconds lead. When the teachers had their relay, my school's teacher was clearly faster. The problem was that the other school took a lesson straight from Dick Dastardly's Book of Dirty Tricks and switched the road signs, so he ended up going the wrong way...

I later found out that the winning school's prize was that their native English teacher got to go on a date with all the Samsung Lions cheerleaders. I'm really glad we didn't win now...

So, back in reality land, I've about exhausted everything I have. So, until next time, eh?