The End of Vacation

I made a promise to update today. A promise to myself. A promise to my family. A promise to God...

This will be my last post about vacation. I still have two weekends back logged to catch you all up on, which I suppose I will just do willy nilly on some random day in the future. Right now, I'm here to tell you about the Philippines.

Hey, guys, give the Philippines some credit. After all, a Filipino is worth dying for according to Ninoy Aquino. It's an interesting and beautiful place if you overlook the poverty. Certainly a much different place than what we are used to in the U.S. People do what they need to to survive, and I'd like to think I understand their actions better than many back home, as little as I've been exposed to it.

Like Korea, The Philippines has been through some bad mojo. From Spanish occupation to American occupation, from the Philippine-American War to the Japanese murdering at least a million Filipinos during World War 2. I think the difference comes from the Spanish occupation. It seems rather strange to me that every former Spanish colony has problems with corruption, overbreeding, and democracy. And I'd venture to say that the Philippines is the Latin America of Asia. Is that a terrible, racist thing to say? I don't even know. Spanish people are not a race, so I guess I'm not going to be attacked. Anyway, being there reminded me of what I'd think Mexico would be like.

The Philippines is the 47th largest economy in the world, according to the World Bank (which we can debate the validity of sometime over some scotch if you'd like). As such, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I make more in one or two months than many Filipinos do in one year. I don't know how true that is, but from appearances I'd say I'm not far off.

As such, imagine if you were one of these people. As a child, you'd be forced to help the family make an income. How would you do this? Not by going to school. School costs money and doesn't bring immediate income. You'd beg, get a job illegally, or (god forbid) become a prostitute. I saw all three of these things while in the Philippines, and I was on a resort island. I can only imagine how the heart of Manila is.

I was going to go on and on and on and on and on (and on and on and on), but honestly, I don't feel like it. I've sat at this point in the blog post for two days, not satisfied. Since coming back from vacation, I have spent too much time thinking about how unfair life is and it's because I went to the Philippines. Maybe I can put my thoughts into a more coherent post if and when I visit more 3rd world countries. Right now, it just feels wrong and hollow and I don't feel like I can express what I experienced in writing or speech. Maybe I'll create some crappy painting to express my angst. That would be pretty emo of me, right? I'm feeling emo enough. Ugh...ok, I'm done with vacation.

Summer Vacation Oh-Ten: August 14th-Some Time: The Philippines

If Manila were a person, and that person held an occupation, I would only hesitate for a split second to call it a serpentine crack whore. Maybe even with the qualities of the hydra of Greek mythology. I would not use such a harsh label if I did not have solid evidence of it, as well as many others' stories only providing ammunition. I spent a total of 12 hours in Manila, and it seemed like every one of those hours was spent being screwed over. It was my fault, really. I came off the plane knowing nothing about the exchange rate and unprepared for bargaining. Up to that point, I completely forgot that that was an option.

By the time I left the Philippines 7 days later, I was a hardened veteran of not getting ripped off, but at this point in the story I still had much to learn. I will not tally up all the ways that I was ripped off (hotel, one beer, shuttle, airport tax, telephone use, mystery charges, etc) but the amount is embarrassing. Again, it's my fault. I thought the exchange rate was much better than it really was (exceptionally better than it really was) and I thought I was paying a pittance. I didn't even argue. When I looked at my bank account after getting to Boracay, I realized the gigantic error. It was an extremely expensive learning experience I will never forget. I am embarrassed about it even still, and have not told a living soul before this very post.

I have no pictures of Manila. There's a pretty good reason for this. There's nothing to take pictures of. Manila is a congregation of dirty shacks and drug addicts and hookers that I was more than happy to make my exit from. So let's move on, shall we?

I flew into the dinkiest airport I've ever seen (yes, even dinkier than Winchester airport) at Caticlan before moving on to the ferry boat in one of these little motorcycle taxis:
Upon arriving at the island of Boracay, I knew it would be nothing like what I had experienced before. Yes, more beach, but completely different vibe. I fell into a lazy beach bum mode that I did not emerge from until probably yesterday...if even. I did not take many pictures at all, which now that I look back on it, is regrettable. I'll keep the memories with me, though, and others took pictures as well.

Highlights:

Snorkeling
The warmest water I've ever been in
Cheap everything
Eating balut (chicken embryo [more developed than egg, but still in the egg])
This sunset:
Parasailing
Swimming in a cave
Pirating a boat late at night
Night sharks
The ripoff that was ATVing
Kayaking
Flaming drinks
Monkeys having sex
A bar run by little people called "The Hobbit House"
Obama Bar

Perhaps some of those need clarifying? Let's see...pirating a boat? Ok, well we got into the water late one night and someone spots a boat way off in the distance. "Hey, let's swim to it!" Yeah, well the Philippines is the type of place where if someone owns a boat, they probably live on it. So we swim out there, avoiding what we have recently labeled "night sharks" (because they're different from day sharks). It's a long damn swim, but we make it and cautiously board. I know you were hoping this story went somewhere involving a harpoon gun through someone's leg, but the boat was empty, and we just hung out on it for a while before it began pouring down monsoon rains and we had to swim back, lest the boat sink with rainwater.

Let's talk about ATVing. It was about $20 for an hour of ATVing. We thought that meant going wherever we wanted. What it really involved was us following some guide at about 20 miles an hour around the island to designated spots. The first was some aviary place with exotic birds...and monkeys doing the nasty. Emphasis on the nasty. The best part was when we stopped at the highest point on the island, where you could see almost all of it. We had a beer up there and drove back (drunk driving! Ah!!!)

I didn't label this post up to the 22nd because I will have one more post on the Philippines and some more specifics about it. I'm not done with you, yet. This is just a run down of what I did, not what happened to me emotionally or ideologically, if that's even a word. Check it until then. Maybe I'll find someone else's pictures by then, too, so you can get a better view of the island.

Summer Vacation Oh-Ten: August 12th-13th

August 12th

Our bus ride today was much shorter and much more manageable. We took a quick jaunt to downtown Honolulu where the royal residence resided residually. Iolani Palace was the home of the last two monarchs of an autonomous Hawaii before the white devil took it over in the name of freedom in the late 1800s. We again took an audio tour. This was the kind where you hold it up to your ear as though you're just on the phone with someone extremely garrulous, nodding your head at everything they ramble on about as though they can see you through the phone and tell that you're interested. Isn't that annoying? The phone is a blessing and a curse, I swear. Anyway, again the audio tour was not up to Steve Buscemi standards. To be honest, the audio tour wasn't all that impressive overall. It was a little biased, if you ask me. It painted the last king, King Kalakaua, in a bit too rosy of a light. There was a reason people protested against him and a reason that things declined the way they did. Just because he was Hawaiian doesn't automatically make him a good person. I'm sure he was an OK guy, but any monarch who spends the state money to build a lavish palace for himself while he's off traipsing around the world for a year is not the greatest monarch, if you ask me.

It was, however, educational. Things I learned on the Iolani Palace tour:

• Iolani Palace had electricity before the White House did.


• Grover Cleveland wanted to let Hawaii keep its independence, but the provincial American government of Hawaii would not give it up and eventually gave it to the U.S. under his successor, Benjamin Harrison. I guess by the time Grover Cleveland was re-elected, he stopped caring so much about Hawaii.


• Taking pictures inside the palace will damage it somehow.


• Hawaiians are blindly patriotic of their heritage. It's perfectly OK to be proud, but try to look at it more objectively, guys.


• I wish Iz was still alive. Maybe if he was, Hawaiians would stop abusing his music. I mean, look at the guy:

He doesn't need any more abuse. We also saw this bitchin' ride outside the palace. I hope it was the official royal pimp mobile. The rest of the day was spent doing laundry and shopping while Mom and Aunt Sue chilled out by the pool. We ended my last full day in Hawaii with a really awesome dinner at the Moana Surfrider Resort. It was a very nice place with outstanding food and wine.



We caught the tail end of a mediocre sunset and headed back to the hotel where we reminisced over more wine and cheese.

August 13th

This morning was spent at the overpriced breakfast buffet at the Sheraton Princess Kaiulani. At least they had some pretty exceptional pineapple. We ended up waiting an extra fifteen minutes for my airport shuttle, which is OK since I still got there on time and all the children were rejoicing. The goodbye was quicker than I would have preferred but there were people waiting on the shuttle and we're detrimentally polite people. My last look at Honolulu from the airport:

Since part of the flight was on the 13th, I will lump it in with this day just because I want to and it's my hot body and I can do what I want.

I flew in on Korean Air and flew out on Hawaiian. They were two very different experiences. Eventhough Hawaiian Air was rated the best in America, it still falls far short of the prowess of Korean Air. I can't say enough good things about Korean Air. I will fly with them whenever possible. That is not to say that I was unsatisfied with my Hawaiian Air flight. On the contrary, it was not unpleasant at all, and they made the 10 hours go by pretty painlessly. I'm just a princess because on Korean Air you get one additional meal and free alcohol whenever you want. And, you get your own personal screen on the back of the seat wherein you can watch whatever you want whenever you want and play games, etc. Princess Steve.

Speaking of, we watched a few movies on the Hawaiian Air flight. The first one was Princess Kaiulani, the namesake of the resort we stayed in. She was a princess when Amurrica took over control of Hawaii. It was a romance set against a historic backdrop, and it was cheesy and trite and not very satisfying. Next was Iron Man 2, which I had already seen so I read and listened to music, then Date Night, which was OK, and there was another one that escapes me right now. Haha, my banal description of my flight is probably getting as painful as the flight itself. And the flight attendants were almost exclusively men. Very strange.

I'll leave touching down in Manila and all that followed for another post since technically it was the next day. God speed.

Summer Vacation Oh-Ten: August 10th-11th

Damn it, I got lazy again. I just can't be bothered to write an in depth analysis of my vacation in any semblence of a timely manner. I know myself better than I thought because at about this point in my journal I get lazy and stop writing details anyway. I anticipated my own lazy demise. Thus, let me continue the best I can.

August 10th

On this day, as I was running across the street to catch the bus, some SNICKERDOODLE yelled out at me, "That's a hundret n fiddy dollar fine!" He was referring to the fact that I was crossing the street when the red hand was telling me not to. This is the kind of crap I don't miss. Don't be so uptight. If I get hit by a car or something, it's my bad. I'm not going to sue anybody and I'm not going to complain to my congressman about how unsafe the streets are. I am the idiot who got hit by a car. Let me do it if I want to. I think since I've earned a college degree, I am perfectly capable of discerning when it is safe to cross a street without the help of a machine. Anyway, kudos to you, guy.

Where was this bus going, you ask? We hit up Pearl Harbor. This was actually one of the things I was most excited about, being interested in history and all.
I was not quite as excited about the entry fee. Or that the boats out to the USS Arizona were not running due to high winds. All that CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH aside, it was still really interesting and educational. We began with the USS Chinook, a submarine active during ol' Dubya-dubya two. It even came with an audio guide! It wasn't quite up to the Steve Buscemi narrated tour of Eastern State Penitentiary standard that I now compare all audio tours to, but it did have some old dude talking about his time on the sub. Close second, to me.

The best part about our trip to Pearl Harbor was the USS Missouri. This towering battleship was the same ship where the Japanese signed the Instrument of Surrender, thus ending World War II. Look how full of freedom that ship is!So much freedom. The only thing missing is a majestic bald eagle perched up on the bridge and a big "Mission Accomplished" banner hung from the guns. It was almost as difficult as the previous day's gigantic maze to try and find our way to the top area for a view. But, once we found it, it offered a pretty solid view of the harbor as well as the Arizona memorial that nobody was at. Those white things popping up out of the water are the centerpieces of "Battleship Row," where much of the attack was centered. The Arizona was obviously on this row and was one of several ships that was sunk that day in 1941.

It was really neat when I came across the placards that described the logistics of the attack, as in where the Japanese planes came from (including pictures) and what course they took during the attack. Speaking of, I wonder what all the Japanese tourists think of Pearl Harbor. I mean, I imagine I'd get pretty choked up if I went to the Hiroshima or Nagasaki Memorial (but then again, that is a much larger and more devestating attack on innocent lives), but I wonder if they see it as a tragedy, a distanced military attack, or a secret victory for the motherland. "Yeah, we'rr do it again, too, shirry Amelicans. Kambai!" Oh, uh I got a little Team America juice on my shirt again. I drool it out every time!

Evening was same same and I'm lazy.

August 11th

I think this day was my favorite in Hawaii. It's not every day I get to drive a Pontiac around Oahu. I'd like to personally thank my Aunt Sue for making that possible. I hope that she and my dear mother enjoyed being chauffered around a tropical island. It's funny because after 6 months of not driving anything, operating a motor vehicle that is capable of inflicting serious damage on everything around it came quickly back to me as though I was continuously a conscientious, sympathetic driver.

Our first stop outside of Honolulu was Diamond Head. The hike up wasn't too bad, taking less than an hour each way. At the top, after passing the guy selling certificates stating you indeed did just hike up a dormant volcano, you are met with a bunker thing that you climb on top of and look out over Honolulu and greater Oahu. The views were impressive.
We eventually made a big circle of the island over the course of the day. Highlights:

Eating Little Caesar's cheese pizza. I haven't done that since I was about ten or eleven. Also, the Yokozuna statue outside of Little Caesar's. Classic.
One of the beaches we hit up, pictured in the distance here:had such harsh waves that they physically knocked you off your feet. I had never been in such rough waves before. There were signs everywhere warning of certain danger because the waves were so intense. It's a wonder I didn't lose a contact. You'll put your eye out!

We continued on, and I got a nap in at some other beach. We ate dinner at a Shark Bay shack that had pretty good "Fresh" Ahi sandwiches, cats, and chickens walking around and/or sleeping.

All in all, Oahu is much bigger than I originally thought it was. I guess it's about 120 miles from end to end, which is sizeable. On a globe it's just a little dot, but dots can be misleading. Certain dots could mean ill health or death if you don't get them checked out by a doctor. I'm just saying. Dots are more meaningful than a map gives them credit for.

Anyway, hopefully I'll be more prudent this week and finish up my vacation posts. I'd like to move on to what I did this weekend and some other themed posts I've got lined up that I may or may not get around to due to laziness. Cheer me on, like a fat kid trying to finish a race after everyone else has already gotten showers and changed and is going home with their girlfriend or whatever. Fat kids need love, too.

Summer Vacation Oh-Ten: August 8th-9th

August 8th

Today I was awoken too early in the morning by a rambling, scrambling mother. She couldn't sleep for long due to her time zone difference. I would have thought she'd instead sleep too much. I suppose it is much more difficult to adjust for a 50 year old than someone half her age. I will find out when (if) I age twice as much.

We began with the extremely overpriced breakfast buffet. Hawaii will be expensive for all involved, it seems. I can do $100 a day, I guess. I'm about there so far. Stupid America with your money and your dance parties...

We hit Waikiki HARD...for about two hours. The water was so nice and refreshing and, as an added bonus, I got to see a fat guy (beached whale) passed out in the grass. Twice. At about 1, we ate fresh by the pyool and had a couple of beers. How can I forget about the old Japanese guy wearing Ed Hardy board shorts? Too good.

Speaking of, there are so many Japanese tourists here. I'm just speechless when I hear Asian people speaking something other than Korean. I still have to find where they're all hiding.

A night of debauchery followed with an Italian dinner and wine on two balconies. Later I went out to a bar by my lonesome. I was only stopped by three hookers this time, although one was fairly persistent. She stopped the chase when I told her I live in Korea. She may have had to take a minute to think about where or what that was, giving me enough time to run away.

August 9th

Dole Plantation was on our agenda today. First bus ride. It only took 2 hours. We were whisked away through the hills, into the less desirable parts of Oahu, where strange folk live a mystical life of inner island glory. I was convinced we would never get there and would eventually die on that bus. I was in a pretty sour mood by the time we got there and was not really impressed with the plantation as a whole. It was just a big tourist trap. It did have the biggest maze in the world, though.

It was pretty huge and impressive, but a giant maze is like a happy meal toy. You really want it and you beg your mom to get it for you, but once you get it you realize it doesn't really do anything cool and you get bored with it in about two minutes. Still, we finished half of it before finding our way out. If I didn't have a map we'd probably still be in there.

Hey Mom! Facebook profile pic!We took a train ride on the Pineapple Express, which is not to be confused with the movie. This was not quite as exciting. No guns or anything. Just fields of pineapple and lots of audio narration. Still, you learn some history, which is always interesting to me, and you get to go on a little train with a hundred Japanese tourists and watch things like this go by:It's not so bad, I suppose. We finished Dole Plantation with some pineapple ice cream and a conversation with a Jim Beam swigging Hawaiian redneck. Highlight of my day, if you ask me. I believe he mentioned "dang farners" at one point.

Since the bus ride was another two hours back (and didn't even go all the way to Waikiki) we didn't do much afterward. A fairly mellow evening on the balconies ensued, as was becoming tradition. Here's Aunt Sue's view from her balcony. Not too shabby.

Summer Vacation Oh-Ten: August 7th

*Author's Note - The following "Summer Vacation Oh-Ten" blog entries will be dated according to my corresponding journal entry. I will try to write as similarly as possible to my physical journal for the first leg of this trip so that you get an idea of what I experienced as I experienced it. I will, however, omit inappropriate language. Thank you, that is all.*

August 7th Part 1

I passed the PEPPERMINT KISSES out on the bus until Incheon. I had to be woken up by the bus driver. But, I made it. Now I'm at the point of delirious excitement and exhaustion where everything is amusing. I was at this very airport 6 months ago, and I feel like it has changed more than I have. That's not true, of course, but you know how 6 months will change a guy living in a very, very foreign country. I didn't notice the ajummas the first time. I didn't realize how Korean Korea is when I got here. Even in such an international place as an airport. Everything is hilarious to me because I'm exhausted. Let's just hope I can get on a plane in 3 or so hours. Maybe the coffee will transform me. I think I'm still drunk and I realized I will lose 6 hours today. I might have no trouble adjusting to the time difference. I am that tired.

It's way too early for a GUMDROP GIGGLES whopper meal. I may yak it up. Ugh, at least it's food. Barely.

I didn't yak but my body hates me and the feeling is mutual. I feel a mild fever and my heart is racing for no reason. I just hope the rest of my vacation ends up better. My body is failing right now and I'm stuck in the terminal.

So, my first day was interesting. After an overly long flight wherein I felt like GINGERSNAP COOKIES, I had to wait in a non-moving line for immigration. I was in a plane with a Chinese tour group apparently, which is never fun. Them and their BUBBLY FAIRIES visas. Anyway, hello America. After a $30+ cab ride, I checked in and headed down the street to the bar district. This is noteworthy because I got stopped by no less than seven hookers of all shapes and sizes AND got hit on by a gay Russian guy. At least I got to see live music. The band was a decent reggae band. I am currently in the bath and am about to call it a night. Goodnight Moon.

August 7th Part 2

Today is also August 7th. Thanks, International Date Line. I didn't get stopped by any hookers today, but I did get scammed apparently. I spent most of the day walking around and exploring. I was stopped by a friendly black man who was supporting feed the family or some HAPPY TEDDY BEARS and he gives you a bumper sticker so you feel obligated to donate. So, I gave him a fiver and we talked for a few minutes. I walk down the street and am stopped by another man who bashes me for not shaving. He pulls out his IRS number and a website and says I've been scammed by the other guy. Oh well, I guess I bought some guy lunch at McDonalds. He was nice enough anyway, so I don't mind too much.

Let's talk about the walk. Today was gorgeous, weatherwise. My reverse culture shock is not as heavy as I thought, but it is kind of blowing my mind that I can get all those things I miss in Korea. Case in point: the first thing I did today was have breakfast at Denny's. Real coffee. Real orange juice. Real moons over my hammy with seasoned fries. I left the establishment in ecstasy.

I found Waikiki and strolled its crowded sand for a while until I came to a park with the obligatory statue of Gandhi. Apparently there is an international foundation devoted to erecting Gandhi statues in every major city. So this park has a tree that looks Rastafarian. And I got to see some kids hula dance while some woman barked orders at them.

I reached the looming foot of Diamond Head, turned around, got scammed, got dissed about my growing beard, got two beers, checked in to the more permanent dwelling for the week, got into the room and took a nap. That was six months in the making. It felt that good and was very difficult to wake from. Even eight hours later, that moons over my hammy sits like a brick in my stomach, karate chopping hunger away. But I should eat dinner. Water and beer is not that sustaining of a meal.

I need to stop hemmoraging money. Hawaii is expensive. Don't even get me started on tipping. What a bunch of BUTTERSCOTCH BAKERS. Makes my beer cost $7. But what a good beer it is. Cass, Max, Hite: you are all terrible poser beers wishing you equalled the majesty of the pale ale I spent two hours savoring.

At 8:30-esque, I was met with the call of "Steven!" It was my dear mother and it suddenly felt like it hadn't been seven months since last I saw her. We got her and my aunt all checked in and ate dinner at some place down the street. Got a bottle of authentic Hawaiian red wine, which was sweet and not all that terrible, and enjoyed it on the balcony where we caught up a bit and later went to bed.

*Author's Note Part 2: Don't expect future entries on the vacation to be as long. One, this was two days in one day, and two, I get lazier as vacation moves on. Sorry, I'm only human. Maybe I'll elaborate on the shorter journal entries. Maybe.*

Vacation Looms

To be perfectly honest, I really have nothing noteworthy to post about, but I will because I forgot to show you this picture of a Blackout Korea moment:
"We got a possible fan death victim here. I'm gonna need an ambulance. Get forensics down here immediately." No, he got up eventually and walked off somewhere into traffic. I also wanted to let you know how much I am enjoying "Thunder Road" by Bruce Springsteen these days. Well, mainly just today.

Let's see. I killed the strangest looking little bugger in my apartment the other day. It was so strange looking that I had to take a picture of it. It was just hanging out upside down on the top of my little hobbit door. Now every time I open that door I examine the frame before I step through. Look at that little guy. Look at my thumb. Now you know how friggin huge it was. I'm not saying I have huge thumbs, but a bug that's the size of it warrants a picture. Some kind of weird cricket thing.

What in blazes!? It's a spooky ghost of Korea past!

So, why is it that Korean clothing stores feel the need to explain their "style" in English? Is it to convince us 위국인? Let's start with the men's wear store.

First of all, notice the shirts behind the sign. Two mens shirts with half a heart on them each. No wonder we need convincing. It's a country where the men look like women and the women look like Asian barbie dolls. That second part isn't so bad though. Now let's look at this one:
All I want you to take from this Confucius worthy proverb is that one cannot fly into flying. Dancing is important to learning how to fly. Just remember that the next time you build paper wings and climb up on the roof.

It's three days until I leave for Hawaii. Things to do list:
1) Haircut
2) Get contacts
3) Buy some stuff
4) Pack
5) Write various emails

This should, in theory and expectation, be finished today. I have a little going away thingymabobber tomorrow and Friday I leave for my Saturday morning flight. Oh the places you'll go! The things you'll see!

The Final Weekend Before...

Have you ever had a dream wherein you're lying restlessly awake in bed? What gives? I was dreaming about not being able to sleep. That's what my life has come to. Why can't I have exciting Inception-esque dreams full of espionage and intrigue?

Let's see. August is upon us. How did that happen? On the positive side I have some pictures for you from this weekend. Let's get started...

I think this picture would be really cool if you didn't look at it so closely. Back off, buddy. Stop examining ma shit. I've got some good framing, just the quality sucks. A couple of things. First, isn't that the story of my life: going the wrong way down a one way street. I'm not the only one, though. This is cell phone street in Daegu at 1 AM. Notice the cars (one going the wrong way) parked completely on the sidewalk. And, if you look closely at the stores, you might be able to make out that they're all cell phone stores. Korea has this nice way of being subtle about what they're trying to sell. "Hey, guys," one industrious Korean with a California surfer accent says, "I think it would be a great idea if we just had entire streets that sell only one thing. Think of it. Music street, pet shop street, power tool street, cell phone street. It would be really convenient if customers had to walk an unnecessary distance to get anything they want. Oh, and let's add hawkers who call foreigners very handsome all the time."

On Saturday, I went to the Hot Festival at Suseong Lake. The lake looks like this.
Pretty nice little park area. On the right side of the picture you'll see a few duckboats lined up. Those would be there for the sole purpose of racing. Did this guy do it? Yes. An Englishman, a South African, and two American'ts competed in duckboat races...and won. That's right. I am good for something.

"What did you win, Steve?"

We won a bike, thankyouverymuch. A fullsize functioning bike. I'd say that it's not the best prize for a team of four since a bike doesn't really split four ways, but I let the South African team member have it. I figured he needed it more being all the way out in the boonies of what still may be considered Daegu.

After that and a both entertaining and very awkward belly dance show (a group of attractive females followed by a group of maybe first graders), we headed down to the street where most of the festival was taking place. Water everywhere.
Kids with super soakers, pools, fans, waterfalls, waterslides, balloons, pandemonium, apocalyptic chaos, a bear with dreadlocks, and ice sculpting. It was good, wet fun. Well deserved too, because it was also really damn hot. That evening we had a rooftop party party on a friend's apartment building. It was good until I crapped out early and found a taxi to take me to the wrong place because "Banwoldong" sounds like "Beomeo" to him. Sunday I didn't even leave the apartment because I tried out my new prescription contacts, and lo and behold, they're not right. Too weak. I spent the day not being able to see to full capacity so I didn't want to chance getting run over by a sidewalk scooter. I have to go back to the eye doctor today and see if we can't remedy it. Maybe I should bring a baseball bat. I just want to see Hawaii and the Philippines when I get there. Only smelling them is not what I had in mind.