Summer Vacation Oh-Ten: August 14th-Some Time: The Philippines

If Manila were a person, and that person held an occupation, I would only hesitate for a split second to call it a serpentine crack whore. Maybe even with the qualities of the hydra of Greek mythology. I would not use such a harsh label if I did not have solid evidence of it, as well as many others' stories only providing ammunition. I spent a total of 12 hours in Manila, and it seemed like every one of those hours was spent being screwed over. It was my fault, really. I came off the plane knowing nothing about the exchange rate and unprepared for bargaining. Up to that point, I completely forgot that that was an option.

By the time I left the Philippines 7 days later, I was a hardened veteran of not getting ripped off, but at this point in the story I still had much to learn. I will not tally up all the ways that I was ripped off (hotel, one beer, shuttle, airport tax, telephone use, mystery charges, etc) but the amount is embarrassing. Again, it's my fault. I thought the exchange rate was much better than it really was (exceptionally better than it really was) and I thought I was paying a pittance. I didn't even argue. When I looked at my bank account after getting to Boracay, I realized the gigantic error. It was an extremely expensive learning experience I will never forget. I am embarrassed about it even still, and have not told a living soul before this very post.

I have no pictures of Manila. There's a pretty good reason for this. There's nothing to take pictures of. Manila is a congregation of dirty shacks and drug addicts and hookers that I was more than happy to make my exit from. So let's move on, shall we?

I flew into the dinkiest airport I've ever seen (yes, even dinkier than Winchester airport) at Caticlan before moving on to the ferry boat in one of these little motorcycle taxis:
Upon arriving at the island of Boracay, I knew it would be nothing like what I had experienced before. Yes, more beach, but completely different vibe. I fell into a lazy beach bum mode that I did not emerge from until probably yesterday...if even. I did not take many pictures at all, which now that I look back on it, is regrettable. I'll keep the memories with me, though, and others took pictures as well.

Highlights:

Snorkeling
The warmest water I've ever been in
Cheap everything
Eating balut (chicken embryo [more developed than egg, but still in the egg])
This sunset:
Parasailing
Swimming in a cave
Pirating a boat late at night
Night sharks
The ripoff that was ATVing
Kayaking
Flaming drinks
Monkeys having sex
A bar run by little people called "The Hobbit House"
Obama Bar

Perhaps some of those need clarifying? Let's see...pirating a boat? Ok, well we got into the water late one night and someone spots a boat way off in the distance. "Hey, let's swim to it!" Yeah, well the Philippines is the type of place where if someone owns a boat, they probably live on it. So we swim out there, avoiding what we have recently labeled "night sharks" (because they're different from day sharks). It's a long damn swim, but we make it and cautiously board. I know you were hoping this story went somewhere involving a harpoon gun through someone's leg, but the boat was empty, and we just hung out on it for a while before it began pouring down monsoon rains and we had to swim back, lest the boat sink with rainwater.

Let's talk about ATVing. It was about $20 for an hour of ATVing. We thought that meant going wherever we wanted. What it really involved was us following some guide at about 20 miles an hour around the island to designated spots. The first was some aviary place with exotic birds...and monkeys doing the nasty. Emphasis on the nasty. The best part was when we stopped at the highest point on the island, where you could see almost all of it. We had a beer up there and drove back (drunk driving! Ah!!!)

I didn't label this post up to the 22nd because I will have one more post on the Philippines and some more specifics about it. I'm not done with you, yet. This is just a run down of what I did, not what happened to me emotionally or ideologically, if that's even a word. Check it until then. Maybe I'll find someone else's pictures by then, too, so you can get a better view of the island.