Summer Vacation Oh-Ten: August 8th-9th

August 8th

Today I was awoken too early in the morning by a rambling, scrambling mother. She couldn't sleep for long due to her time zone difference. I would have thought she'd instead sleep too much. I suppose it is much more difficult to adjust for a 50 year old than someone half her age. I will find out when (if) I age twice as much.

We began with the extremely overpriced breakfast buffet. Hawaii will be expensive for all involved, it seems. I can do $100 a day, I guess. I'm about there so far. Stupid America with your money and your dance parties...

We hit Waikiki HARD...for about two hours. The water was so nice and refreshing and, as an added bonus, I got to see a fat guy (beached whale) passed out in the grass. Twice. At about 1, we ate fresh by the pyool and had a couple of beers. How can I forget about the old Japanese guy wearing Ed Hardy board shorts? Too good.

Speaking of, there are so many Japanese tourists here. I'm just speechless when I hear Asian people speaking something other than Korean. I still have to find where they're all hiding.

A night of debauchery followed with an Italian dinner and wine on two balconies. Later I went out to a bar by my lonesome. I was only stopped by three hookers this time, although one was fairly persistent. She stopped the chase when I told her I live in Korea. She may have had to take a minute to think about where or what that was, giving me enough time to run away.

August 9th

Dole Plantation was on our agenda today. First bus ride. It only took 2 hours. We were whisked away through the hills, into the less desirable parts of Oahu, where strange folk live a mystical life of inner island glory. I was convinced we would never get there and would eventually die on that bus. I was in a pretty sour mood by the time we got there and was not really impressed with the plantation as a whole. It was just a big tourist trap. It did have the biggest maze in the world, though.

It was pretty huge and impressive, but a giant maze is like a happy meal toy. You really want it and you beg your mom to get it for you, but once you get it you realize it doesn't really do anything cool and you get bored with it in about two minutes. Still, we finished half of it before finding our way out. If I didn't have a map we'd probably still be in there.

Hey Mom! Facebook profile pic!We took a train ride on the Pineapple Express, which is not to be confused with the movie. This was not quite as exciting. No guns or anything. Just fields of pineapple and lots of audio narration. Still, you learn some history, which is always interesting to me, and you get to go on a little train with a hundred Japanese tourists and watch things like this go by:It's not so bad, I suppose. We finished Dole Plantation with some pineapple ice cream and a conversation with a Jim Beam swigging Hawaiian redneck. Highlight of my day, if you ask me. I believe he mentioned "dang farners" at one point.

Since the bus ride was another two hours back (and didn't even go all the way to Waikiki) we didn't do much afterward. A fairly mellow evening on the balconies ensued, as was becoming tradition. Here's Aunt Sue's view from her balcony. Not too shabby.