The Hardest Goodbyes

I had to post twice in a day. It's my final day in Korea and there are so many emotions running through ma veins, through ma brains. I used to be excited about turning the page and starting a new chapter in my life. But on this day, I just feel sadness that it's ending. This life I'd known and figured out through trial and error is over today. I'm saying goodbye to Korea, though surely not forever, and now I can only reminisce about how I've grown and changed and learned from her. There will be no more new memories and experiences to be made.

All this, too, applies to my ex-wife. Although we didn't work out ultimately, it wasn't due to hatred for each other. We get along splendidly, and continued to live together as roommates these last several months. But our paths must diverge if we are to continue growing and thriving in this life. And so, I am saying goodbye to her today, too, to one of the best friends I've ever had. It's like going through a double break up. The hardest thing I've willfully brought on myself.

I know that time heals all and my excitement about this trip will return. I've been planning it for years, unable to wait for this day for so long. Counting down the hours, budgeting and re-budgeting, spreadsheets full of cost breakdowns, purchases made in anticipation. How long was my nose buried in a map, determining just exactly where and which way I should go to finally complete my trip around the world that I started 8 years ago? Now, I'm all packed. Take a look at the haul:

All that's fitting into two bags hanging from my shoulders. I've sent two boxes of other belongings home, with one more being sent today. My life is now fractured. My worldly possessions are scattered around the Earth. I will be homeless in hours from now. I am already unemployed. It's a strange feeling. All of it. I guess there is solace in knowing that tomorrow I'll be on a tropical beach, the warm breeze eroding my anxious grief into a worn contentment with life. But today is still a hard experience no matter how you cut it.

Anyway, enough blubbering. Keep yer eyes peeled for new posts about jealousy-inducing, exotic locales and experiences. All zero of my readers shall rejoice as I make my way slowly around this great big Earth.