Koreans Are Nuts, Part 1

You know this'll be an ongoing series. I'm just planning ahead.

So, last night I met some Canadians downtown and we walked around while I made fun of their accent. We had dinner at some place that served the hottest freakin' dish I've ever had. It was some octopus stir fry thing. I couldn't even eat it. My face got all red and my nose ran all over the restaurant.

Afterward, we walked around and went "eye-shopping." I ran into my first hilarious English shirts for sale. The first was a sweater that had penguins, ice, and a refrigerator on it. The words above it said, "Grrrrr!" instead of "Brrrrr!" I think it was better with "Grrrrr!" though. There was another that had some sappy bull on it, and then end of it said, "the greatest things you can't see or touch, they must be felt with your feart." The most random ones were a shirt for Super Bowl XXXI and a Bob Dylan shirt that had nothing to do with Bob Dylan. It just said his name and then had a picture of some voluptuous woman and something about a kiss underneath. There were random clowns, a sweater with pig face elbow pads, and one shirt that was normal except that the tag inside the collar had an extreme and long Bible passage in it. You all can expect gifts to be on par with that when your birthday/Christmas rolls around.

Today was the first day of classes. It consisted of my co-teacher leading the class (I think she likes being in charge. Either that or she's giving me a break for the first lesson. I'll find out soon enough) while I walked around on patrol. Almost the entire class consisted of introductions. Just how I like it. No work. I even confiscated a rubber ball from one kid. Now I have a rubber ball to play with.

My co-teacher went first. It was funny because she took a trip to the U.S., to all the same places I went to on the Western side at about the same time I was at those places. She went to L.A., San Francisco, Las Vegas, and the Grand Canyon. She even had a picture from Stanford. Hey, I went there too! It was so weird. When it was my turn, I brought out the big guns. "Does anyone know where this picture was taken?" "Daegu?" No, Daegu does not have ancient Roman ruins in it. Rome, maybe? Blank stares. These kids must not be taught geography or history.

We then had the kids introduce themselves. We asked them to say their name, their hobby, their favorite something, and what they want to be when they grow up. This was met with varying success. Most of these kids' hobbies were "computer games" and their favorite TV star was either 2 PM or 2 AM. I don't know who those people are. Probably lame 15 minute Koreans. When they grow up, Korea is going to have a sharp influx of "pro-gamers" entering the job market. And it's not just the boys who wanted to be pro-gamers. I guess we all had just as outlandish dreams when we were kids, eh? I remember wanting to be a Ghostbuster at one point in time. On top of being told I was "bely handsome" yet again, I was told that I was "really lame" and "fuck you." Yes, that girl ran away bely quickly. And, par for the course, the girls came up after class and took my picture on their camera phones. I posed for some of them, but I couldn't keep up. How come this doesn't happen in the U.S.?

The level of English these kids possess is really quite varying. Some were fluently speaking. I got one girl saying she wanted to be a diplomat. She got my kudos. Others wouldn't even make a sound to attempt English. These are sixth graders who have had at least three years of English. Most are at varying levels between those two extremes. They are all equally hilarious though.

Two of the three classes got as far as making rules up for the class. They all wanted to "speak English in class," "be quiet," "talk to Native Speaker," and "listen to teacher." They always say "listen to teacher." But do they? No. They carry on like kids do. I'm not surprised though, I'd probably do the same thing.

The class is set up in five groups of six. Without fail, each class was segregated. Boys never willingly sat at the same table as girls and vice versa. They whined when they came in late and the only seats left were at an opposite sex table. I'm thinking we should integrate all the tables. I'm all about integration. Those kids will never talk to each other.

Lunch was some rice, kimchi, and the same soup we get every day. It's fine, though. I'm learning to like it. In the afternoon, I found out I would not have classes tomorrow as the kids are taking some pre-standardized test all day. It's the second week of school, and these kids are already gearing up for tests. I swear, the Korean government needs to lay off with the tests. These kids aren't able to be kids. No wonder they all play computer games. What else have they got? They can't function with the opposite sex and they always have to take tests.

I guess that's all I've got right now.