So, today's classes went well. Nothing much to report that I haven't already mentioned in previous posts. In fact, today was pretty unexciting. I did the same lesson that we did yesterday. Tomorrow is going to be epic failure part 2 though. I can feel it coming. It's those damn third graders. They can't understand much English and can't read the alphabet so my input is definitely limited. With a strict textbook curriculum in these classes, I really can't do much except stand idly by and dictate every now and then it seems. At least I can play the games with them and get them speaking some very basic stuff.
The first chapter in these classes is "Hello, I'm Minsu." It lasts four classes. Four. These kids learn "Hello," "hi," "I'm," and "bye" for four lessons. What the crap can you do with that that is engaging for four lessons? Speak lots of Korean, I guess. The pace seems a little slow to me, since the kids already know these words from not living in a cave for the first eight years of their lives. These third graders are going to kill me. I love the sixth graders, because I can actually talk to them for more than two seconds, but those third graders. There's gotta be a way to overcome this.
Ok, so on to the topic of the post: they can't get enough of me. First, I'll cover the flattering part. Since I've begun teaching, my popularity has only skyrocketed. This one sixth grader was stealing photos of me on his camera phone during class. I had to put a stop to it. He tracked me down at least four times throughout the day to say hi. His English is actually really good, but he's one of those smart kids that feels like he doesn't need to listen. He'll probably be pretty cool when he grows up, though. A group of girls came by with some excuse and talked to my co-teacher for a hot minute. When they left, she asked me if I knew what their intentions were. Thinking about her choice of language, I said no. She said, "They come in here so they could see you. They make excuse to talk to me." Aww, so flattering. Finally, I must say "hi" or "hello" at least 60 times during lunch. Not exaggerating. The teacher's table is right by where the kids line up to get their grub, so they always say "hi" to me while they're in line. I always have food in my mouth so half the time I just keep chewing and wave. Other times, I show them my "see-food."
Now the not so flattering part. Originally, I was to teach the 3rd and 6th graders this semester, while teaching the 4th, 5th, and 6th graders in the extra-curricular classes (one for each grade). This means that I don't get to see every student. Parents complained that their child wasn't getting access to the Native Speaker, so the vice-principal made my co-teacher change my schedule so that I am in every grade that learns English. The only way that schedule will work is if I switch grades every week. What this means is that I will not be present for a consistent English development of any grade and will be stretched thin. Gotta appease the parents though, right? This sucks for me because it's more lesson planning and less consistency in what I'm doing. As such, I'm totally unprepared for next week because I don't even have teacher's guides or textbooks for some of the classes I'll be teaching next week. Looks like we'll be playing hangman for 40 minutes. Whatever, I do what I'm told. I may just have to start staying later to plan lessons and making overtime. I guess it could be worse.
In other news, my laundry is finally dry. Still all wrinkly though. What's a boy to do? That's all for now. At least tomorrow is Friday and I can drink my troubles away!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Washing Things Semi-Clean
I tell ya, this "drying rack" crap is for the birds. Give me a damn dryer! My clothes are more wrinkly than a 90 year old smoking farmer and some are still not dry. My washing machine is a real piece of Korean engineering, too. I can't read Korean, so I pressed a few buttons and got it started. About 7 or 8 minutes into the 59 minute cycle, it starts buzzing intermittently at me. I open the little crapper up and notice that it's trying to spin, but failing. It'll budge about an inch and then give up. So, I pressed some buttons, which only added more time to the cycle, but didn't change the failing spin. I tell myself to let it do its thing, as the timer is still counting down despite red lights flashing at me, and leave the room to cook dinner.
As I'm sitting there eating ma pasghetti, I hear it start to wheeze and squeak. I stop eating and peek into the bathroom to make sure she isn't smoking in there. Smoking inside my apartment is a huge no-no. She's not, but she begins this routine that you can imagine perfectly if you picture a volcano beginning to rumble and build up momentum before an eruption (minus the smoke, of course). Suddenly, she kicks into this fervent spin that increases in intensity until it sounds like the generator room at Hoover Dam. I'm not kidding, it was that loud. I was afraid my landlord would come down and make sure I wasn't conducting nuclear experiments in my apartment. She finished about ten minutes later and my apartment was eerily quiet. It's probably because I was half deaf.
She leaked a little water, but I assume she got my clothes at least semi-clean. They smelled ok, so I put them on the rack to dry. Now they're all wrinkly and gross and damp. What am I going to wear tomorrow? All my best dresses are unwearable! I guess I have to invest in an iron. I didn't want to, because they're like $50, but I may have to take the plunge, lest I look like a loser with all these fashionable Koreans around me. Image is everything here. I'm not even joking.
This morning, I awoke to the delicate falling of snow. That's right, kids, while you're enjoying early Spring in the ol' U.S., Korea is getting bogged down with nasty brown snow. It's funny, because the Koreans do not know how to prepare for or react to something like this. Traffic was terrible and the roads were not cleared at all. It was treacherous to even walk to school, but I relented, as did the precious children, and school was on as normal. Well, almost normal. I saw a couple of kids skip out of my class to go throw snowballs at each other, but I didn't tell my co-teacher. I say let the kids have fun. They're tested and worn down their entire childhood. Let them have a good time when they can get it. So, on to the nuts and bolts...
With every epic failure comes a time of contemplation and eventual success, given you keep trying. Since I really have no choice but to keep trying, I gave teaching another shot today. I did tolerable for self-evaluation, and my co-teacher even said that she liked what I was doing and that it was a success today. I like hearing that. I wouldn't call it a roaring unanimous success, but I'm much more comfortable now and am somewhat confident going into tomorrow's lessons. It's a good feeling. I can see myself getting more ballsy with teaching as time goes on.
In the afternoon, my co-teacher and I discussed one of the extra-curricular classes that I'll be teaching beginning at the end of March. The class is currently directionless, but I threw some ideas out and she was open to them. This boy gets the chance to be creative with the kids. The morning lessons are all strictly textbook, so getting creative is severely limited. I want to have fun in the afternoon classes, so I think the kids will have fun too. I'm going to start off with "School Year's Resolutions," a lesson that will get the kids using the future tense and also learning about the Western custom of coming up with New Year's Resolutions. Then, I think we're going to do a play of some sort over three lessons. I'd like to throw in some random stuff like "create your own country!" and "let's write a song!" Of course, when American holidays come around, I'll be incorporating those into the lessons. There's one in the works for the 4th of July, and I'll definitely have a Halloween themed lesson when the time comes. It's going to be fun, and I'm getting excited about it. I'll make use of that blue screen, too, damn it. It's too good to pass up.
So, hopefully some time this year I'll have some video for you folks so you can see what my kids are up to. They are pretty funny. Today, as I was going around helping the kids with the activity, they were ecstatic when I sat down at their table. Well, either ecstatic or overly shy. Some of them are not confident in their English ability and I can't get those few to speak at all. Looks like I've got a challenge ahead of me in that department.
The snow is pretty much melted now, so I'm going to go back to my apartment and cook up some wild, imaginative dinner involving all the vegetables I have in my fridge and then practice my accordion. I soooo need a guitar. I long for something I'm actually decent at. It's painful to not be good at anything you do every day either due to novelty or some language barrier.
Tomorrow's Thursday! Almost done with the week!
As I'm sitting there eating ma pasghetti, I hear it start to wheeze and squeak. I stop eating and peek into the bathroom to make sure she isn't smoking in there. Smoking inside my apartment is a huge no-no. She's not, but she begins this routine that you can imagine perfectly if you picture a volcano beginning to rumble and build up momentum before an eruption (minus the smoke, of course). Suddenly, she kicks into this fervent spin that increases in intensity until it sounds like the generator room at Hoover Dam. I'm not kidding, it was that loud. I was afraid my landlord would come down and make sure I wasn't conducting nuclear experiments in my apartment. She finished about ten minutes later and my apartment was eerily quiet. It's probably because I was half deaf.
She leaked a little water, but I assume she got my clothes at least semi-clean. They smelled ok, so I put them on the rack to dry. Now they're all wrinkly and gross and damp. What am I going to wear tomorrow? All my best dresses are unwearable! I guess I have to invest in an iron. I didn't want to, because they're like $50, but I may have to take the plunge, lest I look like a loser with all these fashionable Koreans around me. Image is everything here. I'm not even joking.
This morning, I awoke to the delicate falling of snow. That's right, kids, while you're enjoying early Spring in the ol' U.S., Korea is getting bogged down with nasty brown snow. It's funny, because the Koreans do not know how to prepare for or react to something like this. Traffic was terrible and the roads were not cleared at all. It was treacherous to even walk to school, but I relented, as did the precious children, and school was on as normal. Well, almost normal. I saw a couple of kids skip out of my class to go throw snowballs at each other, but I didn't tell my co-teacher. I say let the kids have fun. They're tested and worn down their entire childhood. Let them have a good time when they can get it. So, on to the nuts and bolts...
With every epic failure comes a time of contemplation and eventual success, given you keep trying. Since I really have no choice but to keep trying, I gave teaching another shot today. I did tolerable for self-evaluation, and my co-teacher even said that she liked what I was doing and that it was a success today. I like hearing that. I wouldn't call it a roaring unanimous success, but I'm much more comfortable now and am somewhat confident going into tomorrow's lessons. It's a good feeling. I can see myself getting more ballsy with teaching as time goes on.
In the afternoon, my co-teacher and I discussed one of the extra-curricular classes that I'll be teaching beginning at the end of March. The class is currently directionless, but I threw some ideas out and she was open to them. This boy gets the chance to be creative with the kids. The morning lessons are all strictly textbook, so getting creative is severely limited. I want to have fun in the afternoon classes, so I think the kids will have fun too. I'm going to start off with "School Year's Resolutions," a lesson that will get the kids using the future tense and also learning about the Western custom of coming up with New Year's Resolutions. Then, I think we're going to do a play of some sort over three lessons. I'd like to throw in some random stuff like "create your own country!" and "let's write a song!" Of course, when American holidays come around, I'll be incorporating those into the lessons. There's one in the works for the 4th of July, and I'll definitely have a Halloween themed lesson when the time comes. It's going to be fun, and I'm getting excited about it. I'll make use of that blue screen, too, damn it. It's too good to pass up.
So, hopefully some time this year I'll have some video for you folks so you can see what my kids are up to. They are pretty funny. Today, as I was going around helping the kids with the activity, they were ecstatic when I sat down at their table. Well, either ecstatic or overly shy. Some of them are not confident in their English ability and I can't get those few to speak at all. Looks like I've got a challenge ahead of me in that department.
The snow is pretty much melted now, so I'm going to go back to my apartment and cook up some wild, imaginative dinner involving all the vegetables I have in my fridge and then practice my accordion. I soooo need a guitar. I long for something I'm actually decent at. It's painful to not be good at anything you do every day either due to novelty or some language barrier.
Tomorrow's Thursday! Almost done with the week!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Failure/Guitar Gods Unite!
My epic failure is echoing through the streets of Korea as I type this, passing from mouth to ear like wildfire. The story is growing in magnitude every time it is told. By the time it reaches Seoul, it will consist of me being struck by lightning and a kimchi fight that got out of hand. I am probably just overreacting.
Today, I was under the impression that I would have no classes because the children would be testing. Well, they did test, but the third graders ended early, so at 11:30, my classroom was flooded with them. This was my first batch of this new type of bugger, so it caught me quite off guard. I followed my co-teacher's lead though, because she usually has her stuff in order. We would be doing...(dum dum dum) the first textbook lesson.
We did our standard introductions. When I got to mine, I went through my powerpoint, but the class was a little rowdy. I realized it was because they couldn't understand me because they're third graders and this was their first English class ever. My co-teacher took over at this point and for the rest of the class I just stood there in a corner looking like a dufus. It hit me kind of hard how unprepared I was for something like that happening, but my co-teacher saved the day. Kudos to her for being prepared for a surprise class and knowing Korean. I must admit it ruined my fried fish and rice lunch.
After lunch, we had our standard "tea time" in the P.E. room. I was quieter than usual, still lamenting on my failure the class period before. The jokester teacher of the school was in there, a pretty funny guy considering the language barrier, and he determined that it was time to test my skills at volleyball. Volleyballs appeared out of nowhere (well, I guess it is a P.E. room), and before I knew it I was out in the courtyard hitting and setting a volleyball with four other male teachers. The kids started gathering around, wanting to see the way a wae-gook plays barry barr, so we took it into the gym to let them get back to their rigorous studies. That gym is ancient by Korean standards. I was told it's about 100 years old. Anything that survived the Korean war is something to be cherished as National Treasure #whatever on this peninsula.
When I either passed or failed their volleyball ability test, we began playing some version of volleyball that you play with your feet instead of your hands. It was actually pretty fun, but since I come from Amurrica I never really gave a crap about or played soccer, so I was pretty terrible. Even though whatever incarnation of team I was on lost, I still broke a good sweat and it lifted my spirits immensely. Funny how an hour of physical activity does things like that. Endorphin rush, folks! Maybe it's because I secretly knew I was getting paid to play soccer/volleyball.
The rest of the afternoon was spent between Facebook and going over tomorrow's lesson plan so that I didn't feel like such a loser. It's nice to go over this stuff with my co-teacher, developing a level of communication that I didn't really feel was there prior to a few hours ago. I feel more confident now and will hopefully be able to actually lead a class at anything productive. I'll let you know, of course. What else do I have to do after work? Play the accordion? Psh, that's for wussies....wussies like me.
Speaking of musical instruments, last night a friend and I hit up music street to do some more "eye shopping" for when we get our first paychecks. That place is great. I actually sat and played guitar for the first time in a couple of months. I haven't lost all my ability, but the callus is definitely gone and I couldn't play for too long before "I got blisters on me fingers!" Apparently, the Koreans make decent acoustic guitars, too. I played this Crafter that was actually pretty nice and was modestly priced at $450. I know what you're thinking. Either, "I've never heard of that brand. Must be crap," or "Crafters suck. Get a [insert your favorite brand here]." Well, if you have heard of Crafter, I want to let you know that the Koreans make a different Crafter that they don't make in the U.S. It's the same company, but different guitars. Decent guitars ranging from a few hundred bucks to over a thousand. If you haven't heard of Crafter, which I hadn't, then don't bother looking into it. You're not in Korea so you wouldn't understand the terroir here.
I was also eyeing this bad ass looking Telecaster in another shop. You know, the one the Boss is holding on the cover of Born to Run. Getting a Fender here is a bit of a task though. If it's not a Japanese Fender, then it's American and it's expensive. I don't know what I'm gonna do in the electric guitar department yet. I really want it, but it looks like I'm going to have to pay for it. I guess that's why I'm making bank with virtually no expenses, right? I can stand to drop a grand on an ax and not be feeling the burn for the next six months. Give it time, children. Give it time. I'm going to sleep on it until I get that paycheck, and if I still can't live without it, I'll go in that shop, demand to play it on 11, and if it speaks to me on a visceral level I'll buy it right then and there. If not, I'll leave it and never return.
Just don't let me drop my whole paycheck on guitars. I do need to eat, after all. On the other hand, I definitely feel the need to grind out some tunage. The urge is burning. What do you think? I'm asking you, avid subscriber, for advice on what to do about my future guitar purchase, a matter that you obviously know nothing about. But you're probably American, so you should feel no qualms with speaking straight out of your ass, right? Leave me some love!
Today, I was under the impression that I would have no classes because the children would be testing. Well, they did test, but the third graders ended early, so at 11:30, my classroom was flooded with them. This was my first batch of this new type of bugger, so it caught me quite off guard. I followed my co-teacher's lead though, because she usually has her stuff in order. We would be doing...(dum dum dum) the first textbook lesson.
We did our standard introductions. When I got to mine, I went through my powerpoint, but the class was a little rowdy. I realized it was because they couldn't understand me because they're third graders and this was their first English class ever. My co-teacher took over at this point and for the rest of the class I just stood there in a corner looking like a dufus. It hit me kind of hard how unprepared I was for something like that happening, but my co-teacher saved the day. Kudos to her for being prepared for a surprise class and knowing Korean. I must admit it ruined my fried fish and rice lunch.
After lunch, we had our standard "tea time" in the P.E. room. I was quieter than usual, still lamenting on my failure the class period before. The jokester teacher of the school was in there, a pretty funny guy considering the language barrier, and he determined that it was time to test my skills at volleyball. Volleyballs appeared out of nowhere (well, I guess it is a P.E. room), and before I knew it I was out in the courtyard hitting and setting a volleyball with four other male teachers. The kids started gathering around, wanting to see the way a wae-gook plays barry barr, so we took it into the gym to let them get back to their rigorous studies. That gym is ancient by Korean standards. I was told it's about 100 years old. Anything that survived the Korean war is something to be cherished as National Treasure #whatever on this peninsula.
When I either passed or failed their volleyball ability test, we began playing some version of volleyball that you play with your feet instead of your hands. It was actually pretty fun, but since I come from Amurrica I never really gave a crap about or played soccer, so I was pretty terrible. Even though whatever incarnation of team I was on lost, I still broke a good sweat and it lifted my spirits immensely. Funny how an hour of physical activity does things like that. Endorphin rush, folks! Maybe it's because I secretly knew I was getting paid to play soccer/volleyball.
The rest of the afternoon was spent between Facebook and going over tomorrow's lesson plan so that I didn't feel like such a loser. It's nice to go over this stuff with my co-teacher, developing a level of communication that I didn't really feel was there prior to a few hours ago. I feel more confident now and will hopefully be able to actually lead a class at anything productive. I'll let you know, of course. What else do I have to do after work? Play the accordion? Psh, that's for wussies....wussies like me.
Speaking of musical instruments, last night a friend and I hit up music street to do some more "eye shopping" for when we get our first paychecks. That place is great. I actually sat and played guitar for the first time in a couple of months. I haven't lost all my ability, but the callus is definitely gone and I couldn't play for too long before "I got blisters on me fingers!" Apparently, the Koreans make decent acoustic guitars, too. I played this Crafter that was actually pretty nice and was modestly priced at $450. I know what you're thinking. Either, "I've never heard of that brand. Must be crap," or "Crafters suck. Get a [insert your favorite brand here]." Well, if you have heard of Crafter, I want to let you know that the Koreans make a different Crafter that they don't make in the U.S. It's the same company, but different guitars. Decent guitars ranging from a few hundred bucks to over a thousand. If you haven't heard of Crafter, which I hadn't, then don't bother looking into it. You're not in Korea so you wouldn't understand the terroir here.
I was also eyeing this bad ass looking Telecaster in another shop. You know, the one the Boss is holding on the cover of Born to Run. Getting a Fender here is a bit of a task though. If it's not a Japanese Fender, then it's American and it's expensive. I don't know what I'm gonna do in the electric guitar department yet. I really want it, but it looks like I'm going to have to pay for it. I guess that's why I'm making bank with virtually no expenses, right? I can stand to drop a grand on an ax and not be feeling the burn for the next six months. Give it time, children. Give it time. I'm going to sleep on it until I get that paycheck, and if I still can't live without it, I'll go in that shop, demand to play it on 11, and if it speaks to me on a visceral level I'll buy it right then and there. If not, I'll leave it and never return.
Just don't let me drop my whole paycheck on guitars. I do need to eat, after all. On the other hand, I definitely feel the need to grind out some tunage. The urge is burning. What do you think? I'm asking you, avid subscriber, for advice on what to do about my future guitar purchase, a matter that you obviously know nothing about. But you're probably American, so you should feel no qualms with speaking straight out of your ass, right? Leave me some love!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Koreans Are Nuts, Part 1
You know this'll be an ongoing series. I'm just planning ahead.
So, last night I met some Canadians downtown and we walked around while I made fun of their accent. We had dinner at some place that served the hottest freakin' dish I've ever had. It was some octopus stir fry thing. I couldn't even eat it. My face got all red and my nose ran all over the restaurant.
Afterward, we walked around and went "eye-shopping." I ran into my first hilarious English shirts for sale. The first was a sweater that had penguins, ice, and a refrigerator on it. The words above it said, "Grrrrr!" instead of "Brrrrr!" I think it was better with "Grrrrr!" though. There was another that had some sappy bull on it, and then end of it said, "the greatest things you can't see or touch, they must be felt with your feart." The most random ones were a shirt for Super Bowl XXXI and a Bob Dylan shirt that had nothing to do with Bob Dylan. It just said his name and then had a picture of some voluptuous woman and something about a kiss underneath. There were random clowns, a sweater with pig face elbow pads, and one shirt that was normal except that the tag inside the collar had an extreme and long Bible passage in it. You all can expect gifts to be on par with that when your birthday/Christmas rolls around.
Today was the first day of classes. It consisted of my co-teacher leading the class (I think she likes being in charge. Either that or she's giving me a break for the first lesson. I'll find out soon enough) while I walked around on patrol. Almost the entire class consisted of introductions. Just how I like it. No work. I even confiscated a rubber ball from one kid. Now I have a rubber ball to play with.
My co-teacher went first. It was funny because she took a trip to the U.S., to all the same places I went to on the Western side at about the same time I was at those places. She went to L.A., San Francisco, Las Vegas, and the Grand Canyon. She even had a picture from Stanford. Hey, I went there too! It was so weird. When it was my turn, I brought out the big guns. "Does anyone know where this picture was taken?" "Daegu?" No, Daegu does not have ancient Roman ruins in it. Rome, maybe? Blank stares. These kids must not be taught geography or history.
We then had the kids introduce themselves. We asked them to say their name, their hobby, their favorite something, and what they want to be when they grow up. This was met with varying success. Most of these kids' hobbies were "computer games" and their favorite TV star was either 2 PM or 2 AM. I don't know who those people are. Probably lame 15 minute Koreans. When they grow up, Korea is going to have a sharp influx of "pro-gamers" entering the job market. And it's not just the boys who wanted to be pro-gamers. I guess we all had just as outlandish dreams when we were kids, eh? I remember wanting to be a Ghostbuster at one point in time. On top of being told I was "bely handsome" yet again, I was told that I was "really lame" and "fuck you." Yes, that girl ran away bely quickly. And, par for the course, the girls came up after class and took my picture on their camera phones. I posed for some of them, but I couldn't keep up. How come this doesn't happen in the U.S.?
The level of English these kids possess is really quite varying. Some were fluently speaking. I got one girl saying she wanted to be a diplomat. She got my kudos. Others wouldn't even make a sound to attempt English. These are sixth graders who have had at least three years of English. Most are at varying levels between those two extremes. They are all equally hilarious though.
Two of the three classes got as far as making rules up for the class. They all wanted to "speak English in class," "be quiet," "talk to Native Speaker," and "listen to teacher." They always say "listen to teacher." But do they? No. They carry on like kids do. I'm not surprised though, I'd probably do the same thing.
The class is set up in five groups of six. Without fail, each class was segregated. Boys never willingly sat at the same table as girls and vice versa. They whined when they came in late and the only seats left were at an opposite sex table. I'm thinking we should integrate all the tables. I'm all about integration. Those kids will never talk to each other.
Lunch was some rice, kimchi, and the same soup we get every day. It's fine, though. I'm learning to like it. In the afternoon, I found out I would not have classes tomorrow as the kids are taking some pre-standardized test all day. It's the second week of school, and these kids are already gearing up for tests. I swear, the Korean government needs to lay off with the tests. These kids aren't able to be kids. No wonder they all play computer games. What else have they got? They can't function with the opposite sex and they always have to take tests.
I guess that's all I've got right now.
So, last night I met some Canadians downtown and we walked around while I made fun of their accent. We had dinner at some place that served the hottest freakin' dish I've ever had. It was some octopus stir fry thing. I couldn't even eat it. My face got all red and my nose ran all over the restaurant.
Afterward, we walked around and went "eye-shopping." I ran into my first hilarious English shirts for sale. The first was a sweater that had penguins, ice, and a refrigerator on it. The words above it said, "Grrrrr!" instead of "Brrrrr!" I think it was better with "Grrrrr!" though. There was another that had some sappy bull on it, and then end of it said, "the greatest things you can't see or touch, they must be felt with your feart." The most random ones were a shirt for Super Bowl XXXI and a Bob Dylan shirt that had nothing to do with Bob Dylan. It just said his name and then had a picture of some voluptuous woman and something about a kiss underneath. There were random clowns, a sweater with pig face elbow pads, and one shirt that was normal except that the tag inside the collar had an extreme and long Bible passage in it. You all can expect gifts to be on par with that when your birthday/Christmas rolls around.
Today was the first day of classes. It consisted of my co-teacher leading the class (I think she likes being in charge. Either that or she's giving me a break for the first lesson. I'll find out soon enough) while I walked around on patrol. Almost the entire class consisted of introductions. Just how I like it. No work. I even confiscated a rubber ball from one kid. Now I have a rubber ball to play with.
My co-teacher went first. It was funny because she took a trip to the U.S., to all the same places I went to on the Western side at about the same time I was at those places. She went to L.A., San Francisco, Las Vegas, and the Grand Canyon. She even had a picture from Stanford. Hey, I went there too! It was so weird. When it was my turn, I brought out the big guns. "Does anyone know where this picture was taken?" "Daegu?" No, Daegu does not have ancient Roman ruins in it. Rome, maybe? Blank stares. These kids must not be taught geography or history.
We then had the kids introduce themselves. We asked them to say their name, their hobby, their favorite something, and what they want to be when they grow up. This was met with varying success. Most of these kids' hobbies were "computer games" and their favorite TV star was either 2 PM or 2 AM. I don't know who those people are. Probably lame 15 minute Koreans. When they grow up, Korea is going to have a sharp influx of "pro-gamers" entering the job market. And it's not just the boys who wanted to be pro-gamers. I guess we all had just as outlandish dreams when we were kids, eh? I remember wanting to be a Ghostbuster at one point in time. On top of being told I was "bely handsome" yet again, I was told that I was "really lame" and "fuck you." Yes, that girl ran away bely quickly. And, par for the course, the girls came up after class and took my picture on their camera phones. I posed for some of them, but I couldn't keep up. How come this doesn't happen in the U.S.?
The level of English these kids possess is really quite varying. Some were fluently speaking. I got one girl saying she wanted to be a diplomat. She got my kudos. Others wouldn't even make a sound to attempt English. These are sixth graders who have had at least three years of English. Most are at varying levels between those two extremes. They are all equally hilarious though.
Two of the three classes got as far as making rules up for the class. They all wanted to "speak English in class," "be quiet," "talk to Native Speaker," and "listen to teacher." They always say "listen to teacher." But do they? No. They carry on like kids do. I'm not surprised though, I'd probably do the same thing.
The class is set up in five groups of six. Without fail, each class was segregated. Boys never willingly sat at the same table as girls and vice versa. They whined when they came in late and the only seats left were at an opposite sex table. I'm thinking we should integrate all the tables. I'm all about integration. Those kids will never talk to each other.
Lunch was some rice, kimchi, and the same soup we get every day. It's fine, though. I'm learning to like it. In the afternoon, I found out I would not have classes tomorrow as the kids are taking some pre-standardized test all day. It's the second week of school, and these kids are already gearing up for tests. I swear, the Korean government needs to lay off with the tests. These kids aren't able to be kids. No wonder they all play computer games. What else have they got? They can't function with the opposite sex and they always have to take tests.
I guess that's all I've got right now.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Changing of the Plans
Yesterday was Saturday. Tomorrow Land works in strange ways. When I was walking downtown to get to the PC bang (to write yesterday's post) I passed by some guys welding stuff on the sidewalk. Is that technically safe? I mean, sparks flying around and nobody wearing protective masks as pedestrians and scooters pass obliviously by? I guess I lived through it, so no biggie, right? Then, a few blocks down, some guy was face down on the sidewalk, face beet red, screaming about something as three or four other guys held him down. I don't know what that was about, but it was fun to watch for a few minutes. The police came, too. It adds a special new "trashy" level to it when cops come.
So, I was supposed to play ping pong with the Korean teachers at my school, but, as it turns out, they stayed out and kept drinking after I went home from the party. They were too hungover to really function and were actually surprised I came. I said I was going to, right? Is it the Korean way to stand people up when they make plans? So, as a consolation they took me out to Chinese food. I know, quite a change from Korean food. I want you to know this: Korean Chinese food is different from American Chinese food. I'd venture to guess that it's more authentic here. Just a guess. Less fried stuff.
We had these noodles that you cover in seafood that's marinated in some awesome sauce. When you get close to the bottom of the bowl, you put down the sticks and fill the bowl back up with rice and finish it off with a spoon, thus getting all the contents. It was bangin' and I ate a lot of it.
After practicing my accordion a bit, I took the clean clean subway to HomePlus for some shopping. My Western clothes don't fit right anymore since I've lost so much weight (I haven't been this thin since high school. What is a boy to do?), so I bought some pants and a new button down shirt. The sizes here are different than at home, so I had to eyeball it, as they also don't let you try things on. Apparently my shirt size is 105? The strange thing is that all the pants are the same length, so I guess you have to get them altered if you are short.
Let me tell you what. Those clothes a-fit-a-like-a-glove...a! I don't even need to get the pants altered, but since I'm taller than almost all the Koreans I'd imagine it's a hassle for them. I may just have to change out my whole wardrobe. I've never looked so good in some fabric. I am a sexy man beast.
I took those new cuts downtown to meet some friends and show off my sexy keyster. I got stood up. I guess since it's the Korean way, I wasn't too upset. I'd be too irresistible anyway, looking like beat up Brad Pitt in some killer new slacks. It was cold and rainy though, and while I was waiting, I got pestered by the same Korean beggar at least eight times, not exaggerating. I told him "aniyo" every time, and the last time he was persistent. I had to say "aniyo" three times before he got the hint. No wonder he's homeless, he doesn't know how to frigging listen. Do all Westerners look the same to him, or did he think that after the seventh time I'd finally cough up some change?
I got to breathe a big sigh of relief yesterday, too. I found "music street" in Daegu. It's right next to "pet shop street." It's within walking distance (shaweet!). The whole street is lined with instrument shops, gear shops, amp shops, studios, etc. I ate it up. Most of the stores have crappy Korean acoustic guitars, but I definitely saw some Fenders, Epiphones, Gibsons, a Guild, and some Martins. First paycheck I'm investing in a new ax. Seems I can get a pretty decent one for a few hundred bucks, so I'm willing to throw down. I miss shredding. Haha, like I can shred.
Also, dispersed intermittently around that area are art shops. When I was in Homeplus, all they had were crappy kids watercolor type stuff, so I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to keep up the art habit. I was dead wrong. The art will flourish through this boy come March 25th. I will be a multi-millionaire extraordinaire of the arts. I plan on being a jack-of-all-trades, master of none. Well, maybe I'll try to be the Creole King. Master that one pretty good and call it a day.
Oh, wait, I'm a teacher too, aren't I? Haha, kinda forgot about that part of the deal. Monday's coming quick and my first three classes should be pretty interesting. I am anticipating disaster so that I can't be disappointed. That's the Steve Holcomb way. Keep it real, folks. Thanks for reading this far. I know it's a task. My sentences are awkward and my vocabulary choice is abhorrent. Live with it.
So, I was supposed to play ping pong with the Korean teachers at my school, but, as it turns out, they stayed out and kept drinking after I went home from the party. They were too hungover to really function and were actually surprised I came. I said I was going to, right? Is it the Korean way to stand people up when they make plans? So, as a consolation they took me out to Chinese food. I know, quite a change from Korean food. I want you to know this: Korean Chinese food is different from American Chinese food. I'd venture to guess that it's more authentic here. Just a guess. Less fried stuff.
We had these noodles that you cover in seafood that's marinated in some awesome sauce. When you get close to the bottom of the bowl, you put down the sticks and fill the bowl back up with rice and finish it off with a spoon, thus getting all the contents. It was bangin' and I ate a lot of it.
After practicing my accordion a bit, I took the clean clean subway to HomePlus for some shopping. My Western clothes don't fit right anymore since I've lost so much weight (I haven't been this thin since high school. What is a boy to do?), so I bought some pants and a new button down shirt. The sizes here are different than at home, so I had to eyeball it, as they also don't let you try things on. Apparently my shirt size is 105? The strange thing is that all the pants are the same length, so I guess you have to get them altered if you are short.
Let me tell you what. Those clothes a-fit-a-like-a-glove...a! I don't even need to get the pants altered, but since I'm taller than almost all the Koreans I'd imagine it's a hassle for them. I may just have to change out my whole wardrobe. I've never looked so good in some fabric. I am a sexy man beast.
I took those new cuts downtown to meet some friends and show off my sexy keyster. I got stood up. I guess since it's the Korean way, I wasn't too upset. I'd be too irresistible anyway, looking like beat up Brad Pitt in some killer new slacks. It was cold and rainy though, and while I was waiting, I got pestered by the same Korean beggar at least eight times, not exaggerating. I told him "aniyo" every time, and the last time he was persistent. I had to say "aniyo" three times before he got the hint. No wonder he's homeless, he doesn't know how to frigging listen. Do all Westerners look the same to him, or did he think that after the seventh time I'd finally cough up some change?
I got to breathe a big sigh of relief yesterday, too. I found "music street" in Daegu. It's right next to "pet shop street." It's within walking distance (shaweet!). The whole street is lined with instrument shops, gear shops, amp shops, studios, etc. I ate it up. Most of the stores have crappy Korean acoustic guitars, but I definitely saw some Fenders, Epiphones, Gibsons, a Guild, and some Martins. First paycheck I'm investing in a new ax. Seems I can get a pretty decent one for a few hundred bucks, so I'm willing to throw down. I miss shredding. Haha, like I can shred.
Also, dispersed intermittently around that area are art shops. When I was in Homeplus, all they had were crappy kids watercolor type stuff, so I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to keep up the art habit. I was dead wrong. The art will flourish through this boy come March 25th. I will be a multi-millionaire extraordinaire of the arts. I plan on being a jack-of-all-trades, master of none. Well, maybe I'll try to be the Creole King. Master that one pretty good and call it a day.
Oh, wait, I'm a teacher too, aren't I? Haha, kinda forgot about that part of the deal. Monday's coming quick and my first three classes should be pretty interesting. I am anticipating disaster so that I can't be disappointed. That's the Steve Holcomb way. Keep it real, folks. Thanks for reading this far. I know it's a task. My sentences are awkward and my vocabulary choice is abhorrent. Live with it.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Korean Party Party!
I just pressed some Korean button on the computer and lost my entire post. What a drag. You know how long those things are. I guess I'll retype it, just more half-assedly. You're probably getting tired of reading all my drivel anyway.
Yesterday was the first day I realized that I had paparazzi. I was walking to my classroom from lunch and when I turn around, these sixth grade girls are taking pictures of me with their camera phones! I don't know what it is, this school had a Native English Teacher two years ago and there are tens of thousands of Westerners in Daegu. I can't be that novel to them. It's not just the students either.
Last night, all the teachers went out to dinner at some Korean place (surprise! We're having Korean food! Bet you didn't see that one coming!). We had swell fish in many different forms, which all of them turned out to be really tasty. I was glad they chose something I could actually eat. I ate to my fill, which is rare these days. In the middle of dinner, after everyone had had several shots of soju each, our school announcer (?) stands up and starts introducing all the new teachers...again. So, we all step forward and bow...again. I knew when he got to me this time because he yelled really loud, "Mi-gook (American)!" I stepped forward and then he continued in English, "From Birginia, U.S.A. Bely handsome, look-a like Blad Pitt, Suteebah Howcom!" I laughed, took my bow, and stepped back. I got the biggest applause out of everyone, including the new vice principal. Brad Pitt? I've never gotten that one before. I thought about it and realized he must have meant "Brad Pitt during that one scene in Snatch when he's getting beat up and he's all bloody and puffy." I could pass for that Brad Pitt.
It didn't stop there (but maybe I should stop there before you think it's gone to my head. Nah...). When we went to the second place to get more soju (the soju-ba), I was told again that I was "bely handsome" and "bely macho." Is it the five o'clock shadow? Is it the height difference? Is it because the most macho teacher at our school, the P.E. teacher, likes classical music and buys flowers for his office? I tell ya, Korea is the biggest confidence boost I've ever had. I've never felt so good looking! I think it's because Korea is filled with dorks and nerds; being an American dork makes me exotic.
And they're so friendly! I did the whole deference to elders thing, pouring soju for my principal, who looks like a Korean Mr. Rogers, and it made a really good impression. They can't get enough of the Westerner! I've already got a ping pong match lined up for today, a volleyball match set for some time in the near future (100,000 won to the winner!), and a fishing trip with one of the important guys in our school to some island in June. What did I do to deserve the royal treatment?
The party wasn't as crazy as I thought it would be (it was still crazy though). I realized it's because all the Korean teachers had to work in the morning (every other Saturday) and I didn't. When my co-teacher and I walked home (we live pretty close to each other [tired of the parenthetical interjections yet?]), she told me that I should consider another year in Korea because everyone really likes me. I haven't even started teaching yet!
It seems like teaching comes second to "preserving the group" and making good impressions. I was talking to another English teacher, and I was going over my lesson plan for Monday. "Bely organized," he said, "I didn't pran anything. I just go in to class and talk." The P.E. teacher doesn't even like teaching!
This place is nuts, for sure.
Yesterday was the first day I realized that I had paparazzi. I was walking to my classroom from lunch and when I turn around, these sixth grade girls are taking pictures of me with their camera phones! I don't know what it is, this school had a Native English Teacher two years ago and there are tens of thousands of Westerners in Daegu. I can't be that novel to them. It's not just the students either.
Last night, all the teachers went out to dinner at some Korean place (surprise! We're having Korean food! Bet you didn't see that one coming!). We had swell fish in many different forms, which all of them turned out to be really tasty. I was glad they chose something I could actually eat. I ate to my fill, which is rare these days. In the middle of dinner, after everyone had had several shots of soju each, our school announcer (?) stands up and starts introducing all the new teachers...again. So, we all step forward and bow...again. I knew when he got to me this time because he yelled really loud, "Mi-gook (American)!" I stepped forward and then he continued in English, "From Birginia, U.S.A. Bely handsome, look-a like Blad Pitt, Suteebah Howcom!" I laughed, took my bow, and stepped back. I got the biggest applause out of everyone, including the new vice principal. Brad Pitt? I've never gotten that one before. I thought about it and realized he must have meant "Brad Pitt during that one scene in Snatch when he's getting beat up and he's all bloody and puffy." I could pass for that Brad Pitt.
It didn't stop there (but maybe I should stop there before you think it's gone to my head. Nah...). When we went to the second place to get more soju (the soju-ba), I was told again that I was "bely handsome" and "bely macho." Is it the five o'clock shadow? Is it the height difference? Is it because the most macho teacher at our school, the P.E. teacher, likes classical music and buys flowers for his office? I tell ya, Korea is the biggest confidence boost I've ever had. I've never felt so good looking! I think it's because Korea is filled with dorks and nerds; being an American dork makes me exotic.
And they're so friendly! I did the whole deference to elders thing, pouring soju for my principal, who looks like a Korean Mr. Rogers, and it made a really good impression. They can't get enough of the Westerner! I've already got a ping pong match lined up for today, a volleyball match set for some time in the near future (100,000 won to the winner!), and a fishing trip with one of the important guys in our school to some island in June. What did I do to deserve the royal treatment?
The party wasn't as crazy as I thought it would be (it was still crazy though). I realized it's because all the Korean teachers had to work in the morning (every other Saturday) and I didn't. When my co-teacher and I walked home (we live pretty close to each other [tired of the parenthetical interjections yet?]), she told me that I should consider another year in Korea because everyone really likes me. I haven't even started teaching yet!
It seems like teaching comes second to "preserving the group" and making good impressions. I was talking to another English teacher, and I was going over my lesson plan for Monday. "Bely organized," he said, "I didn't pran anything. I just go in to class and talk." The P.E. teacher doesn't even like teaching!
This place is nuts, for sure.
Friday, March 5, 2010
My Digs
I got a surprise for you folks. I know you've been tired (so tired!) of reading words about me blabbering incessantly. I'm gonna take it easier today and let some pictures do the talking. Don't ask me how, because I don't have internet at my home yet, but I have some pictures of my digs for you.
And my most and least favorite room in the house, the bathroom:
It's not difficult to tell why it is my most and least favorite room. I'll let you guess how it smells. Use your imagination. I know my pictures suck. My photography skills are on par with a three year old retarded blind platypus, so my living space picture doesn't show my TV and desk and my kitchen shot doesn't show my kickass Korean sliding door and my refrigerator and microwave. Sue me or something. Better yet, come visit and see it for yourself. Lazy.
Keep in mind that it looks different now that I've fully unpacked and all, but you can assess that the quality is still similar.
My living area:
My kitchen:
And my most and least favorite room in the house, the bathroom: It's not difficult to tell why it is my most and least favorite room. I'll let you guess how it smells. Use your imagination. I know my pictures suck. My photography skills are on par with a three year old retarded blind platypus, so my living space picture doesn't show my TV and desk and my kitchen shot doesn't show my kickass Korean sliding door and my refrigerator and microwave. Sue me or something. Better yet, come visit and see it for yourself. Lazy.Now, here's my classroom (the two different angle approach):
The first shot is from my desk. The second one is from the door in the first shot. You could have probably guessed that, but I assume you are all neanderthals because I'm a teacher and have to explain everything ad nauseam. 
Live it, love it. Miss my proper post. Don't worry, they'll return shortly.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Thursday Strikes Back...With a Vengeance
You know, every time I'm walking on the sidewalk, where one is supposed to walk, and some bastard on a scooter passes right by me from behind, it scares the crap out of me. Why would you drive a scooter on the sidewalk? It don' make no sense to me.
Today was actually not that exciting. My thermostat started playing a jingle for me every four minutes or so last night, and I had no idea what was going on. It was catchy for about three seconds and then stopped. It went off some time during the night while I was dreaming of peppermint gumdrops and rice.
I found my new go to sweety snack. It's like a ho-ho in moonpie form. It's called Lotte Cacao. Dessert every night. It takes the edge off of having to spend over a dollar every time I want to buy a trashbag. What's that, you say? Over a dollar for a single trash bag? That's right, kids. In Korealand, every neighborhood has special trash bags that you have to use to take out your trash. So, on top of having to separate everything (food, bottles/cans/plastics, paper waste, etc), I have to pay to produce and leave my trash by a dumpster. I suppose it's not so bad with everything else being cheap and all. The funny part is the only place that sells my neighborhood trashbags is always crawling with old drunk Koreans playing cards. Interesting little shack, that place is.
I got my settlement allowance today, which should tide me over until I get paid and reimbursed for my plane ticket on the 25th. Oh, I'm rolling in the dough. If I had a dollar for every won to my name, I'd never have to work again...for the next six months or so. Stupid dollar. Sometimes, the American money still in my wallet whispers to me to do bad things to everyone around me.
Also, I got my class schedule. 22 classes a week. 18 regular curriculum classes, 3 "after school" classes (which just means in the afternoon, not after my work hours) and 1 teacher class. I get to teach the teachers English here. They want to know practical things and slang. So I'm going to totally mess with them and tell them that "the bee's knees" is the hottest new slang to come out of Lady GaGa's mouth. They'll eat it up like it was spicy kimchi. I'm just kidding. I'm not evil. It's the American money talking, honest. I've got until Thursday afternoon to figure out what the heck I'm going to teach them. I'm not prepared to teach adults. All I know is how to do games and activities designed for children. Hmm, drinking games? "Oh, you mixed up your L and R again! Drink!"
So, Mr. Lee (my landlord) is so nice. He came into my apartment some time while I was at work and gave me a new remote control that wasn't shaped like a ball. He also left me a drying rack for my laundry. What am I going to do with him? It won't be the smog, or the drinking, or getting run over by a scooter that'll kill me, it'll be his kindness. I barely know the guy and he's treating me like I'm his son. I'm going to have to konsa hamnida his ass. That sounds like it's either really dirty or a judo move, but it's neither. I need to buy him some chocolate. I bet he'd like that. A nice little chocolate dove or leftover Easter bunny or something. I wouldn't feel comfortable giving him liquor as a gift. Bellllllly Chlistian, remember?
So, tomorrow I've got a treat for you folks. Actually you'll hear about it on Saturday because it's happening tomorrow. After work, we're going to a teacher's night out or some jazz. Welcome week, what a week, what a week. It'll be my first experience being the only Westerner getting drunk with a bunch of Koreans in a Korean setting. This is going to be pure gold, I assure you. Hopefully I won't be the most disastrously plastered one there. Extra bonus, the place we're going to is close to where I live. No DDing needed here! I just need to remember all the etiquette rules I have been taught. I really hope we go to a noraebang. I want to hear my Principal sing "Hot for Teacher."
Today was actually not that exciting. My thermostat started playing a jingle for me every four minutes or so last night, and I had no idea what was going on. It was catchy for about three seconds and then stopped. It went off some time during the night while I was dreaming of peppermint gumdrops and rice.
I found my new go to sweety snack. It's like a ho-ho in moonpie form. It's called Lotte Cacao. Dessert every night. It takes the edge off of having to spend over a dollar every time I want to buy a trashbag. What's that, you say? Over a dollar for a single trash bag? That's right, kids. In Korealand, every neighborhood has special trash bags that you have to use to take out your trash. So, on top of having to separate everything (food, bottles/cans/plastics, paper waste, etc), I have to pay to produce and leave my trash by a dumpster. I suppose it's not so bad with everything else being cheap and all. The funny part is the only place that sells my neighborhood trashbags is always crawling with old drunk Koreans playing cards. Interesting little shack, that place is.
I got my settlement allowance today, which should tide me over until I get paid and reimbursed for my plane ticket on the 25th. Oh, I'm rolling in the dough. If I had a dollar for every won to my name, I'd never have to work again...for the next six months or so. Stupid dollar. Sometimes, the American money still in my wallet whispers to me to do bad things to everyone around me.
Also, I got my class schedule. 22 classes a week. 18 regular curriculum classes, 3 "after school" classes (which just means in the afternoon, not after my work hours) and 1 teacher class. I get to teach the teachers English here. They want to know practical things and slang. So I'm going to totally mess with them and tell them that "the bee's knees" is the hottest new slang to come out of Lady GaGa's mouth. They'll eat it up like it was spicy kimchi. I'm just kidding. I'm not evil. It's the American money talking, honest. I've got until Thursday afternoon to figure out what the heck I'm going to teach them. I'm not prepared to teach adults. All I know is how to do games and activities designed for children. Hmm, drinking games? "Oh, you mixed up your L and R again! Drink!"
So, Mr. Lee (my landlord) is so nice. He came into my apartment some time while I was at work and gave me a new remote control that wasn't shaped like a ball. He also left me a drying rack for my laundry. What am I going to do with him? It won't be the smog, or the drinking, or getting run over by a scooter that'll kill me, it'll be his kindness. I barely know the guy and he's treating me like I'm his son. I'm going to have to konsa hamnida his ass. That sounds like it's either really dirty or a judo move, but it's neither. I need to buy him some chocolate. I bet he'd like that. A nice little chocolate dove or leftover Easter bunny or something. I wouldn't feel comfortable giving him liquor as a gift. Bellllllly Chlistian, remember?
So, tomorrow I've got a treat for you folks. Actually you'll hear about it on Saturday because it's happening tomorrow. After work, we're going to a teacher's night out or some jazz. Welcome week, what a week, what a week. It'll be my first experience being the only Westerner getting drunk with a bunch of Koreans in a Korean setting. This is going to be pure gold, I assure you. Hopefully I won't be the most disastrously plastered one there. Extra bonus, the place we're going to is close to where I live. No DDing needed here! I just need to remember all the etiquette rules I have been taught. I really hope we go to a noraebang. I want to hear my Principal sing "Hot for Teacher."
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Creole King
Today began with a two day old routine that I can easily see becoming a several month long routine. Although, minor things will change. Today, I adapted to brushing my teeth while showering. The shower area and the sink are right next to each other, so it's not like I'm stepping over any boundaries there. Multitasking. That's the Steve Holcomb way. Also, I was told that I was too skinny. When a Korean tells you you're too skinny, that is saying something. I did notice that I had lost some weight since last time I wore my suit, but damn. I'm under 170. What am I in high school again? Anyway, this means that I have begun to implement an exercise routine. It consists of lifting water bottles for weights and farting for abdominal exercise. I figure that I've got a good skeletal base and I can become pretty toned with some work. I'll let you know how it goes, as with everything.
This morning, my co-teacher and I went down to the ol' Daegu Immigration Office and applied for my Alien Registration Card (ARC). What a trip. Well, not really. The office was pretty empty, and I quickly learned to place blind trust in the knowing Koreans when it comes to everything administrative. Lest she be secretly funnelling my paycheck into her own account, I just have to not think about it. She's so nice though, I couldn't see it.
We finished pretty early since the 160 people I thought were going to be there weren't, so we had time to hit up HomePlus. This is my new favorite store. It's like a Target mixed with a good grocery store. They actually have a wine selection. Also, it spans three floors, so they have this awesome conveyor belt/escalator for your cart. The carts come equipped with magnets that stick to the metal of this belt so you don't go sliding down to the bottom and kill any ajummas bowling style.
I tried my first school lunch today. It was more bibimbap and kimchi. I can get used to that, I guess. It leaves me pretty hungry by the end of the day. And that water. Whoo doggies, it tastes like lemonade or something. Water should not taste like that. It may explain my upset stomach. Adjustment, I say. Adjustment. If Koreans can drink it, I can too eventually. All of lunch consisted of Korean children trying to talk to me and Korean teachers trying to talk to me with varying levels of success. I'm the most popular person in the school, hands down. I am also well aware that this will wear off once they realize I can't teach worth a damn.
In the afternoon, we went out again to Daegu Bank to open a new bank account for me (I'll actually have some money in it in a few days. Sweet! Shopping Spree!). We ran into a bake sale, so we bought some rolls and some walnut muffin thing that was really good. Every Wednesday, I may just stop by there and get my walnut muffin fix. Also, I was shown how to use my microwave and washing machine. Bonus, I'm practically Korean now. I'm definitely starting to smell like one with the water and all. The thing that sets me on another level is that I have deodorant and they don't.
We got to talking with the physical education teacher and music teacher (who I will call Street Fighter girl when she's not around) and when I heard strange noises coming from the hall, I asked her if that was her music class. She giggled and told me that the students were throwing away all of the old instruments. This came in handy, because later I went dumpster diving. That's right, Resourceful Holcomb went dumpster diving at school. What did I find, you ask? I'm glad you asked. I found...probably the greatest thing I could find. I found an accordion. A fully functional, working accordion. Well, it was fully functioning after I changed out a few keys and tweaked it a bit. This is the one case where the word "bitchin" most aptly fits. I took that thing home, cleaned all the rat turds off of it and played it until my left arm got sore. I will continue to do so until the neighbors complain. I will be a Creole King.
Tomorrow I am going to actually have to do something. I will have to lesson plan for next week. This won't be so bad. Just come up with a PowerPoint about myself and a few activities to get the students to talk to each other in English. Damn, I just gave away tomorrow's post. Well, look for it anyway, you cheeky buggers. Maybe something totally Korean will happen and I'll throw you off.
Don't worry if you're getting bored with the routine. Soon I will too, and then I'll start getting into themed posts: "Things I've learned in Korea," "Differences in Korea," "The Consistency of My Bowel Movements," "Kids Say The Darndest Things," "The Wonders of the DMZ," and "Teaching Tips From A Master, A Sorcerer of Teaching." You'll get the hint when it happens. Let the evolution begin! Slowly, of course. Slowly. Once I get my ARC, I can get internet and then I can post all sorts of crazy photos for you folks to get a better visual of what my situation is like. Right now, you're thinking of me living in a temple, chugging soju and flying through the air as a black belt in Taekwondo, physically smiting children with English books to knock the knowledge into them. Well, you're close. Very close.
Ok, last thing. I know, I'm squirrelly today and you're itching to get outside and play in the snow. I swear I haven't been drinking. At the PC bang, the keyboard is in pretty pristine condition except that the W, A, S, and D keys are totally rubbed off and blank. Those World of Warcraft players will know why this is. Ask one. He (yes, he. Girls don't play these games) will probably laugh and realize the stereotype of Korean kids playing computer games is actually true.
This morning, my co-teacher and I went down to the ol' Daegu Immigration Office and applied for my Alien Registration Card (ARC). What a trip. Well, not really. The office was pretty empty, and I quickly learned to place blind trust in the knowing Koreans when it comes to everything administrative. Lest she be secretly funnelling my paycheck into her own account, I just have to not think about it. She's so nice though, I couldn't see it.
We finished pretty early since the 160 people I thought were going to be there weren't, so we had time to hit up HomePlus. This is my new favorite store. It's like a Target mixed with a good grocery store. They actually have a wine selection. Also, it spans three floors, so they have this awesome conveyor belt/escalator for your cart. The carts come equipped with magnets that stick to the metal of this belt so you don't go sliding down to the bottom and kill any ajummas bowling style.
I tried my first school lunch today. It was more bibimbap and kimchi. I can get used to that, I guess. It leaves me pretty hungry by the end of the day. And that water. Whoo doggies, it tastes like lemonade or something. Water should not taste like that. It may explain my upset stomach. Adjustment, I say. Adjustment. If Koreans can drink it, I can too eventually. All of lunch consisted of Korean children trying to talk to me and Korean teachers trying to talk to me with varying levels of success. I'm the most popular person in the school, hands down. I am also well aware that this will wear off once they realize I can't teach worth a damn.
In the afternoon, we went out again to Daegu Bank to open a new bank account for me (I'll actually have some money in it in a few days. Sweet! Shopping Spree!). We ran into a bake sale, so we bought some rolls and some walnut muffin thing that was really good. Every Wednesday, I may just stop by there and get my walnut muffin fix. Also, I was shown how to use my microwave and washing machine. Bonus, I'm practically Korean now. I'm definitely starting to smell like one with the water and all. The thing that sets me on another level is that I have deodorant and they don't.
We got to talking with the physical education teacher and music teacher (who I will call Street Fighter girl when she's not around) and when I heard strange noises coming from the hall, I asked her if that was her music class. She giggled and told me that the students were throwing away all of the old instruments. This came in handy, because later I went dumpster diving. That's right, Resourceful Holcomb went dumpster diving at school. What did I find, you ask? I'm glad you asked. I found...probably the greatest thing I could find. I found an accordion. A fully functional, working accordion. Well, it was fully functioning after I changed out a few keys and tweaked it a bit. This is the one case where the word "bitchin" most aptly fits. I took that thing home, cleaned all the rat turds off of it and played it until my left arm got sore. I will continue to do so until the neighbors complain. I will be a Creole King.
Tomorrow I am going to actually have to do something. I will have to lesson plan for next week. This won't be so bad. Just come up with a PowerPoint about myself and a few activities to get the students to talk to each other in English. Damn, I just gave away tomorrow's post. Well, look for it anyway, you cheeky buggers. Maybe something totally Korean will happen and I'll throw you off.
Don't worry if you're getting bored with the routine. Soon I will too, and then I'll start getting into themed posts: "Things I've learned in Korea," "Differences in Korea," "The Consistency of My Bowel Movements," "Kids Say The Darndest Things," "The Wonders of the DMZ," and "Teaching Tips From A Master, A Sorcerer of Teaching." You'll get the hint when it happens. Let the evolution begin! Slowly, of course. Slowly. Once I get my ARC, I can get internet and then I can post all sorts of crazy photos for you folks to get a better visual of what my situation is like. Right now, you're thinking of me living in a temple, chugging soju and flying through the air as a black belt in Taekwondo, physically smiting children with English books to knock the knowledge into them. Well, you're close. Very close.
Ok, last thing. I know, I'm squirrelly today and you're itching to get outside and play in the snow. I swear I haven't been drinking. At the PC bang, the keyboard is in pretty pristine condition except that the W, A, S, and D keys are totally rubbed off and blank. Those World of Warcraft players will know why this is. Ask one. He (yes, he. Girls don't play these games) will probably laugh and realize the stereotype of Korean kids playing computer games is actually true.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
My First Day of School
I woke up this morning before my alarm went off, but just tossed around for a bit until 7. I got up and did my morning routine with the dull hint of butterflies fluttering around (or maybe it was one of those bugs I killed yesterday in my apartment. Bug infestation season, go!). When I got to school, I was a little earlier than my co-teacher so I just sat there while the Koreans ran around all crazily.
Eventually, my co-teacher came in and greeted me. Then some other woman came up and introduced herself and I soon learned that she would be helping me with all my "adjusting to Korean life" needs. Sweet, I thought. She's good at English.
The first order of business was to introduce all the new teachers over the TV broadcast. This was new to me, with sixth graders pretty much running a production studio in the main building. I was impressed and a little afraid because I will have to be teaching them eventually. So smart. They're probably smarter than me. I'm almost sure of it.
Anyway, we got lined up in order and stood there while the principal and the administrative guy blabbered for a while and we listened to the Korean National Anthem. Hey, I guess it's better than K-pop. When they began introducing us, each new teacher would step forward and bow for the camera. They got to me out of order (Suhteebah Howlcam...Koreankoreankoreankoreankorean) so I stepped forward awkwardly and bowed. Everyone laughed. I guess I missed the mark or there was a split in my pants. Whatever, I better get used to being laughed at, right?
We then went to the classroom...and we sat. And sat. And then it was lunch time. As per tradition, the principal takes all the new teachers out to lunch on the first day of school. This was a nice treat (gonsa hamnida, Principal!). I got to sit on the floor of some restaurant eating bibimbap and stare at the wall while all the Korean teachers talked about me and pointed and stared. My co-teacher only told me that they were "very interested" in me. I do have a zit on my chin, so I bet that's what they were talking about. But seriously, they're all very nice.
In the afternoon, we were going to go to the immigration office so I could apply for my Alien Registration Card, but when my co-teacher called, there were 160 other people waiting to do the same thing. "We'll go in the morning," she told me. Fine by me, half of them will be back then too. So the afternoon consisted of sitting. And more sitting. I later learned that I would have no classes this week. Well, that makes it easy. I guess I'll just have three more days of sitting.
I did get to talk to one of my co-teachers for a bit. She taught me some more Korean, and also that, like we associate personality traits to astrological signs, Koreans associate personality traits to blood type. I told her mine was AB+ and she laughed. "You're very weird," she told me. I could accept this. Apparently AB+ is not that common, so people having this blood type are considered "weird and out of the ordinary." I told her she was weird for being a Scorpio/Libra cusp. Also, I'm 27 in Korean. Damn, how did I get so old so quickly? I was 25 before I boarded that plane.
So, I worked 8:30 to 4:30 (Oh yeah. Sure beats American government hours). Off to do it again tomorrow!
Eventually, my co-teacher came in and greeted me. Then some other woman came up and introduced herself and I soon learned that she would be helping me with all my "adjusting to Korean life" needs. Sweet, I thought. She's good at English.
The first order of business was to introduce all the new teachers over the TV broadcast. This was new to me, with sixth graders pretty much running a production studio in the main building. I was impressed and a little afraid because I will have to be teaching them eventually. So smart. They're probably smarter than me. I'm almost sure of it.
Anyway, we got lined up in order and stood there while the principal and the administrative guy blabbered for a while and we listened to the Korean National Anthem. Hey, I guess it's better than K-pop. When they began introducing us, each new teacher would step forward and bow for the camera. They got to me out of order (Suhteebah Howlcam...Koreankoreankoreankoreankorean) so I stepped forward awkwardly and bowed. Everyone laughed. I guess I missed the mark or there was a split in my pants. Whatever, I better get used to being laughed at, right?
We then went to the classroom...and we sat. And sat. And then it was lunch time. As per tradition, the principal takes all the new teachers out to lunch on the first day of school. This was a nice treat (gonsa hamnida, Principal!). I got to sit on the floor of some restaurant eating bibimbap and stare at the wall while all the Korean teachers talked about me and pointed and stared. My co-teacher only told me that they were "very interested" in me. I do have a zit on my chin, so I bet that's what they were talking about. But seriously, they're all very nice.
In the afternoon, we were going to go to the immigration office so I could apply for my Alien Registration Card, but when my co-teacher called, there were 160 other people waiting to do the same thing. "We'll go in the morning," she told me. Fine by me, half of them will be back then too. So the afternoon consisted of sitting. And more sitting. I later learned that I would have no classes this week. Well, that makes it easy. I guess I'll just have three more days of sitting.
I did get to talk to one of my co-teachers for a bit. She taught me some more Korean, and also that, like we associate personality traits to astrological signs, Koreans associate personality traits to blood type. I told her mine was AB+ and she laughed. "You're very weird," she told me. I could accept this. Apparently AB+ is not that common, so people having this blood type are considered "weird and out of the ordinary." I told her she was weird for being a Scorpio/Libra cusp. Also, I'm 27 in Korean. Damn, how did I get so old so quickly? I was 25 before I boarded that plane.
So, I worked 8:30 to 4:30 (Oh yeah. Sure beats American government hours). Off to do it again tomorrow!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Double the Pleasure, Double the Fun
You folks are in for a treat. I'm about to give you two posts in one. That's right, prepare to read a lot more than normal. Well, maybe not lately, with my verbosity reaching Mach 5 or so. Anyway, the reason for this is two pronged. First, I'm going to get intensely personal on you all, but do not think it's a negative post. It'll sound that way though. Second, I'm going to recount the strangeness of my day yesterday. Here goes:
Part 1, Finding Home
This morning, I had my first experience of not-knowing-where-the-hell-you-are-when-you-wake. I have to say, NKWTHYAWYW is pretty intense. At least it was for me. It began with a dream. At the beginning, I was at some orientation thing (completely different than the one I was actually just in) taking place at my high school. I also ran into my old boss from my old old job. He was sitting in the hot tub that was located on the playground (?!? What? I know). I then went to visit my old job, which was now relocated to some depression-era brick industrial type building. I was there to visit my old co-workers, but when I got there, an alarm sounded. When the alarm sounded, everyone stopped working and took turns shooting at a poster on the wall with either a b.b. gun or a bow and arrow. Intensely strange, I know.
I was supposed to meet my Mom and Nana and sister for Thanksgiving somewhere. The problem was that they just kept saying to meet them "here," so I never knew where to go. When I talked to Nana, she was talking to me while she was driving an RV...while laying down in a "bed driver's seat." Nana, you know better than to talk on the phone and lay down and drive simultaneously.
Eventually, it dawned on me that I would not be able to meet up with them, and in the dream, I was struggling to remember what I did last night and where I was. Pachelbel's Canon in D kicked in on the Super Ambiance Music Maker 3000 In The Sky Machine, and even though my gut reaction told me it was a cheesy choice, I still felt all sappy and stuff. It didn't help that some stereotypical looking French mime walked by and shouted, "Hi hi!" at me. It was at this point, at the emotional zenith of my dream, that I awoke due to the abnormally loud raindrops smacking against my roof. It's gotta be made of tin or something. Anyway, it took me a minute, an actual minute, to realize that I was in my apartment in Daegu. Where the hell did that French guy and that Gothic architecture come from? I was feeling Cruel Intentions-esque, I guess.
So. Part 2, Landlord's Day Out
Yesterday, when I was napping in my apartment, I hear my landlord coming in. "Hello, hello, Holcomb!" he says. He can't say "Steve" (it sounds more like Suhteebuh) so he just calls me Holcomb. He came in, and I quickly made him aware that my power was out. Of course he just goes right out and flicks a breaker that I somehow missed. He then changes my TV out for a bigger one and hooks up the cable. "Internet!" I say. "No, no internet. PC bang! I take you." Well, damn it. I want internet in my apartment. I don't know if he got that notion, but he looked like he was trying to plug the cable cord into my computer. "Modem," I say. Nothing. Anyway, I'll just ask my co-teacher tomorrow.
He then tells me, "We go eye shopping." I say to myself, why not? He runs upstairs to his apartment and gets changed. When he comes out, he looks like a brand new man, all spiffy in his suit. "Gentleman!" he yells. I laugh, because clearly he is outshining me. I haven't shaved in three days and look like a drunken hobo. He then takes my hand and holds it while we walk. Uncomfortable culture difference there. He leads me downtown and eventually we are in the heart of it all, lights and people. "Many many!" He says. I actually ran into two separate groups of teachers, both of which got a kick out of me walking around with my landlord.
We get to Burger King and it looks good to him, so we go inside. He grabs my arm and puts me up to the counter. "Fish. Number 10," I tell him. He points to the whopper. "Aniyo kugi (no meat)," I say to him, but he either doesn't understand my thick American accent or doesn't believe that vegetarians actually exist, and orders the meatiest thing I could see. I grab a table, lamenting what I am about to do, and eventually he sits down with the food. He prays (bely Chlistian, he reminds me) and we eat. I take a few bites of the whopper out of cultural etiquette and wolf down some fries. Eventually I say, "so full," and rub my belly. He then grabs a bag and puts the leftovers in it so that I can eat it later (or stealthily put it in the food trash). "Gonsa hamnida (thank you)," I say, and we're on our way again.
He takes me through two department stores and shows me around, and when we get to the food area where I had done some shopping previously, he buys me two hot dogs despite my protest. I put them in a bag and reiterated, "So full." We sit down for a coffee in that same area and get the barista to translate for us. He asks me questions about Korea and how I think it's wonderful and am in want of nothing due to his extreme generosity.
He leads me around a little more and eventually he shows me to the subway and we take it one stop home. I thank him again after he shows me where the English channel is on the TV and eventually we part.
This morning, he stopped by twice. First, about 20 minutes after I had woken up (still thinking of that dream and definitely in my pajamas) to take me to the PC bang. I declined because I clearly wasn't ready and it was raining and I didn't feel like going to a PC bang with him because it would be super awkward having him standing over my shoulder while I write about him. I know, he wouldn't understand the English, but still. We Americans like to talk about people when they are not around.
The second time he stopped by, he brought me an umbrella and a calendar and a TV remote that is shaped like a ball. His kindness is really outstanding (beellllly Chlistian), and I will have to buy him a gift soon, I think. I noticed that the calendar he gave me was a calendar he used from his church. Damn, Mr. Lee, I'm not used to this kind of generosity from strangers. Tomorrow he wants to take me to the market. I told him I have to start working tomorrow, but I don't know if he understood. I also told him I need internet in my apartment, and he said we'd take care of that tomorrow too. I wonder if he's just going to try to take me to a PC bang again.
Sorry for the brevity of this post. I'll try to flesh it out some time, because I know I didn't provide enough detail for you. Any ideas for gifts I could get Mr. Lee? Any ideas for gifts for my co-teacher?
Part 1, Finding Home
This morning, I had my first experience of not-knowing-where-the-hell-you-are-when-you-wake. I have to say, NKWTHYAWYW is pretty intense. At least it was for me. It began with a dream. At the beginning, I was at some orientation thing (completely different than the one I was actually just in) taking place at my high school. I also ran into my old boss from my old old job. He was sitting in the hot tub that was located on the playground (?!? What? I know). I then went to visit my old job, which was now relocated to some depression-era brick industrial type building. I was there to visit my old co-workers, but when I got there, an alarm sounded. When the alarm sounded, everyone stopped working and took turns shooting at a poster on the wall with either a b.b. gun or a bow and arrow. Intensely strange, I know.
I was supposed to meet my Mom and Nana and sister for Thanksgiving somewhere. The problem was that they just kept saying to meet them "here," so I never knew where to go. When I talked to Nana, she was talking to me while she was driving an RV...while laying down in a "bed driver's seat." Nana, you know better than to talk on the phone and lay down and drive simultaneously.
Eventually, it dawned on me that I would not be able to meet up with them, and in the dream, I was struggling to remember what I did last night and where I was. Pachelbel's Canon in D kicked in on the Super Ambiance Music Maker 3000 In The Sky Machine, and even though my gut reaction told me it was a cheesy choice, I still felt all sappy and stuff. It didn't help that some stereotypical looking French mime walked by and shouted, "Hi hi!" at me. It was at this point, at the emotional zenith of my dream, that I awoke due to the abnormally loud raindrops smacking against my roof. It's gotta be made of tin or something. Anyway, it took me a minute, an actual minute, to realize that I was in my apartment in Daegu. Where the hell did that French guy and that Gothic architecture come from? I was feeling Cruel Intentions-esque, I guess.
So. Part 2, Landlord's Day Out
Yesterday, when I was napping in my apartment, I hear my landlord coming in. "Hello, hello, Holcomb!" he says. He can't say "Steve" (it sounds more like Suhteebuh) so he just calls me Holcomb. He came in, and I quickly made him aware that my power was out. Of course he just goes right out and flicks a breaker that I somehow missed. He then changes my TV out for a bigger one and hooks up the cable. "Internet!" I say. "No, no internet. PC bang! I take you." Well, damn it. I want internet in my apartment. I don't know if he got that notion, but he looked like he was trying to plug the cable cord into my computer. "Modem," I say. Nothing. Anyway, I'll just ask my co-teacher tomorrow.
He then tells me, "We go eye shopping." I say to myself, why not? He runs upstairs to his apartment and gets changed. When he comes out, he looks like a brand new man, all spiffy in his suit. "Gentleman!" he yells. I laugh, because clearly he is outshining me. I haven't shaved in three days and look like a drunken hobo. He then takes my hand and holds it while we walk. Uncomfortable culture difference there. He leads me downtown and eventually we are in the heart of it all, lights and people. "Many many!" He says. I actually ran into two separate groups of teachers, both of which got a kick out of me walking around with my landlord.
We get to Burger King and it looks good to him, so we go inside. He grabs my arm and puts me up to the counter. "Fish. Number 10," I tell him. He points to the whopper. "Aniyo kugi (no meat)," I say to him, but he either doesn't understand my thick American accent or doesn't believe that vegetarians actually exist, and orders the meatiest thing I could see. I grab a table, lamenting what I am about to do, and eventually he sits down with the food. He prays (bely Chlistian, he reminds me) and we eat. I take a few bites of the whopper out of cultural etiquette and wolf down some fries. Eventually I say, "so full," and rub my belly. He then grabs a bag and puts the leftovers in it so that I can eat it later (or stealthily put it in the food trash). "Gonsa hamnida (thank you)," I say, and we're on our way again.
He takes me through two department stores and shows me around, and when we get to the food area where I had done some shopping previously, he buys me two hot dogs despite my protest. I put them in a bag and reiterated, "So full." We sit down for a coffee in that same area and get the barista to translate for us. He asks me questions about Korea and how I think it's wonderful and am in want of nothing due to his extreme generosity.
He leads me around a little more and eventually he shows me to the subway and we take it one stop home. I thank him again after he shows me where the English channel is on the TV and eventually we part.
This morning, he stopped by twice. First, about 20 minutes after I had woken up (still thinking of that dream and definitely in my pajamas) to take me to the PC bang. I declined because I clearly wasn't ready and it was raining and I didn't feel like going to a PC bang with him because it would be super awkward having him standing over my shoulder while I write about him. I know, he wouldn't understand the English, but still. We Americans like to talk about people when they are not around.
The second time he stopped by, he brought me an umbrella and a calendar and a TV remote that is shaped like a ball. His kindness is really outstanding (beellllly Chlistian), and I will have to buy him a gift soon, I think. I noticed that the calendar he gave me was a calendar he used from his church. Damn, Mr. Lee, I'm not used to this kind of generosity from strangers. Tomorrow he wants to take me to the market. I told him I have to start working tomorrow, but I don't know if he understood. I also told him I need internet in my apartment, and he said we'd take care of that tomorrow too. I wonder if he's just going to try to take me to a PC bang again.
Sorry for the brevity of this post. I'll try to flesh it out some time, because I know I didn't provide enough detail for you. Any ideas for gifts I could get Mr. Lee? Any ideas for gifts for my co-teacher?
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The Hardest Goodbyes
I had to post twice in a day. It's my final day in Korea and there are so many emotions running through ma veins, through ma brains. I u...
