Two Very Different Parts to the Same Post

Let's start positive and personal. Today is my dear Nana's birthday. She's turning 85. She's tied with my mother as the most generous, giving lady I know. For my whole life, she's been watching over the whole family as the matriarch and queen. But what a generous queen. Much better than that crazy lady Elizabeth. What does she even rule anyway? Nothing. Nana rules a family. My family. She's always been there to step in quietly and give love and support to anyone who needed it. Always giving, giving, giving. And don't even get me started on how awesome of a cook she is. If there is anyone who deserves to have a great birthday, it's my Nana. So, please, wish her a happy birthday today. She's such a wonderful lady.

She is also, however, a worrier, passing that worry down to her daughter. Although they have both been out of town for the weekend celebrating the 85th anniversary of my Nana's birth, I wonder if they've heard about the growing tensions between the divided Koreas. The air is getting tense here and it's by far the biggest story going on. In case you are not aware, let me recap:

In March, the ROKS Cheonan (a South Korean warship) blew up dramatically, split in half, and sunk into the sea killing everyone on board. At first, I heard that it was because they struck an old Korean War mine that somehow drifted into them. Then, I heard it was the sole fault of the U.S. accidentally running some tests which went awry. Then, maybe over a week ago, it was confirmed that North Korea was behind it. They extracted the ship's remains from the sea bottom and found parts of a torpedo with Korean lettering on it. Of course, North Korea is still denying it, but there really is no other viable suspect. As such, South Korean President Lee Myung bak made an announcement on Monday that South Korea would cease all positive interaction with the North. No Northern planes over Southern airspace, no Northern ships in Southern waters, no trade, etc. Sanctions. Also, they're reimplementing the propaganda campaign at the border (loudspeakers that blast positive messages about the South, like how obesity is a problem instead of hunger and how women are allowed to do things besides get pregnant and secret police won't kill you if you speak your mind, etc). Kim Jong il has stated that the North would destroy any propaganda campaign begun by the South and would take aggressive actions against any sanctions. Today, Kim Jong il has stated that North Korea will cut ties with the South completely. Not surprising considering the two Koreas once had a dick measuring competition to see who could build the tallest flagpole at the DMZ. Both sides are threatening warlike action against the other and there hasn't been this much tension between them since the 80s.

As is the case with the flagpole, I suspect this will not lead to war, but rather to a case of one-up-manship. It'll just be a contest to see which Korea can rely on the other Korea less. Obviously, South Korea will win, but North Korea will survive by the skin of its yellow country teeth, too. You see, China provides a huge crutch to North Korea. Any sanctions put on the North by the international community will just be filled in by China. The reasons for this are purely economical. With North Korea as an ally, China has a port on the Sea of Japan and doesn't have to deal with millions of North Korean refugees. China stands to gain from the Koreas staying divided. A stronger, united Korea will most likely have the U.S. as an ally, which will put us right on their border. Also, the Korean wonder economy of the 20th century would turn into the wonder economy of the 21st century. China doesn't need that competition.

Anyway, back to my personal situation. If war does happen to break out, I am within easy reach of one of the four military bases here which will be holding mass scale evacuations for U.S. citizens and I will be well out of reach of Kim Jong il's leathery stroke victim grip by the time he would reach anywhere near Daegu. He'd have to get through Seoul first, which would be a pretty tough task in itself. I'm honestly not worried. I'm more worried about my undying urge to buy an electric guitar. Actually, out of this whole thing, I'm most pissed about the Korean won falling in value dramatically. I made $200 less this month because of it. And I'm sorry to Nana for putting a picture of you in the same post as a picture of Kim Jong il.