Oh, it's Kolean Food!

It's time for me to fess up. I'm afraid I've been keeping both my blog and the reason for starting it a secret. I'm sorry, Mama. Don't use the wooden spoon on me. It's time to right the wrongs, and then contort them into wrongs again. So, the real reason I have begun this blog (you know me and brutal honesty. Remember the Mountain Dew and the retard?) is to document my time teaching the children in Korea...and anything that may happen thereafter, including my future male pattern baldness.

As a cultural warm-up, last night, me and ma boy Soheil checked out the wonders of Korean food for the first time. I'm not talking the quaint "oh, look at the cute Asian woman cooking my cheeseburger" type of Korean restaurant. I'm talking the type of place that you would love because you prefer dirty foreign holes hidden around back (Jesus, I am disgusting...but so are you for preferring the backdoor). Actually it was a really authentic Korean place called Myung-Ga in Fairfax. It fit in line with everything I have read about Korea. The employees were friendly and very accommodating. The other patrons were blowing their nose loudly and coughing without covering their mouths. The TV in the corner played a Korean channel. Forget the food, this was the highlight of my night.

It began with some "Music Hour" or something wherein different acts perform on a stage in front of a live studio audience. I caught the last two acts. One was an androgynous boy band singing in mostly in Korean and each member wore most of a tuxedo. One member had half his jacket missing. The second performer was a singer-songwriter type chick with piano accompaniment that wasn't very exciting to make fun of.

Koreans have a food company called Wang. I am no knuckle reader, but I can tell you one thing about my future: I will never eat a Wang product. Ah, Western homophobia at its best. The Korean news is a hoot. There were four anchors and all of their names were Kim. I knew this because I have taken it upon myself to learn the Korean alphabet, and I can recognize Kim when I see it. 3 males, 1 female, all Kim.

Although I may look perfect, I have many shortcomings. One of them is that I cannot yet (or probably ever) speak or understand Korean, so I had to deduce what the special news segment was on. My deduction: Korean news is basically only about old Koreans praising each other on how well they can get naked and make kimchi in the snow.

So, the food. Soheil got something that translated to spicy cuddle fish with mystery pork and rice, and I got something that translated to raw-esque seafood in a sizzling hot rice/vegetable bowl. It was actually pretty good, but the Korean TV was what really kept me eating. It was just so mesmerizing! I'm sure poor Soheil felt pretty lonely eating there with my glossed over look. I wasn't even high!