We went out to 갈매기살 집 (some galmaegisal place) and had a pleasant enough dinner. Our third wheel did not possess the highest calibre of English, but the power of translation helped. We went to a bar afterwards (that I had unknowingly and indirectly introduced him to several months ago), and this is where the mood (at least for me) changed. While sipping on our last beer of the night, he says, almost verbatim, "Frankly, I don't think Koreans should date foreigners." Well, that sure is a nice thing to say when out on the town with a Korean/foreigner couple.
The next day, my girlfriend tells me that he was asking her things in Korean like, "What does your father think?" throughout the night. I was "frankly" taken aback because he had always been a nice guy, and we were in a foreigner bar when he said it. One that he has been to before, most likely with the unrealistic and hypocritical goal of picking up Western girls.
Let me pause there for some commentary. If you didn't know racism existed here, you do now. It's also much more blatant and accepted than in America. I've been to a couple of places that have refused to serve us because they are "Korean only" establishments. Even after that, I still believe people are entitled to their opinion, however bigoted and ignorant. Just don't say or do things that upset the balance, you know? I am used to it and can easily shrug it off and generally I think the pros of Korea far outweigh the cons, but I can only imagine what it's like for a Korean dating a foreigner. The general disapproval of the parents and the looks they sometimes get in public. It's gotta be tough. This topic deserves its own post, really, so let me move on to the happy ending (no, America, my co-worker does not get impaled with a stalactite a-la Cliffhanger).
In case you needed a visual.
Fast forward to Friday, when at 9 PM sharp I step into my frequented hair salon (no such things as barber shops [except ones doubling as brothels, so legit men get they hair did at hair salons, too]) to meet "the guy who cuts my hair" for sushi. He closes up (read: left his wife to cut peoples' hair) and we head to his brother's sushi restaurant.
I am going to venture to say that my Korean and his English are on par. I think our conversation was mostly in Korean and hand gesture language, but through it I learned that he was a really nice guy and it wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it would be. We talked about life and baseball and food and all that, and it was pleasant. On top of all that, he does a good job of cutting my hair whenever I go into his salon.
So, the redeeming ending is here: after talking about his wife he asked me if I had a girlfriend. Still stinging from Wednesday, I reluctantly said yes. Is she Korean? Err, yes. Turns out, he was really happy about it, wanted to meet her, and talked about how good it was that I was dating. He said, essentially, "I hope you marry because Korean women are the best!" I, of course, laughed. However you read into it though, it was a genuine and nice statement that brought my approval of people into the positive a little more.
To sum up, in case you didn't gather: There are people who are ignorant jerks everywhere, whether it be due to lifestyle difference or difference of opinion or whatever. However, for every one of them, there are multiple people who would give you the shirt off their backs despite the fact that you have next to nothing in common with them. Those are the ones you should remember despite your mind being biologically hardwired to remember what berries and leaves to avoid in the forest...
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