Disclaimer: Every now and then, I post a post that may or may not have a level of inappropriateness that will most likely make my worrying Nana sneer. This may or may not be one of them. Also, I've only done this twice. So afore you go spouting off about how I'm an alcoholic, let me assure you that I am not and that normally I have my shit together.
When you wake up (late, obviously, because you turned your alarm off in your sleep) to the sound of your co-teacher calling you, you will be startled. Pretend to already be awake. Put on your game face. You did not stay out late on a Wednesday night getting plastered with Korean girls in seedy bars downtown. You enjoyed a nice warm tea, snuggled up with a great book, and went to bed at a reasonable hour. You will get ready in record time and literally run to school to make up for lost time.
Luckily for you, your five classes will whiz by. This is partly because you are still drunk and, like a grinning fat kid learning to ride a bike, in complete disbelief at how you are still staying upright. Don't worry, your students already know what you did last night. You may live in a big city, but it might as well be the smallest town you've ever known. This is ok though, because you are a celebrity. You could poop on their desk and they would still love you.
As the day wears on, your drunkeness will subside and be replaced by pure hatred of life. You will be surprised at how much energy you have, but this energy will mostly be used reacting negatively to thirty loud students screaming and singing in unison. Everyone, including teachers who you've never spoken a word to before, will comment on how tired you look. Just shrug and accept.
Lunch may or may not make you hurl. Eat as much as you can and drink a lot of water. It will do wonders for you in the long run. Since you didn't have time to eat breakfast or drop the Cosby kids at the pool this morning, your body still needs to exchange meals. Find the one Western toilet with a lock on it and go to town. The children will crowd around outside and yell your name because it still amazes them that non-Koreans poop too, but you must carry on, wayward son.
Your afternoon should be spent lazily at your desk. Half sleeping, half Facebooking, half reading news you don't care about from back home. The fact that you can come up with three halves is a testament to how debilitated you have been today, and you wonder how effective your teaching was. Not that you particularly care because your students certainly don't. The ones who do care supplement their mediocre public education with private tutoring or after school academy anyway.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
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