We touched down in Bangkok in the early evening, navigating the sprawling airport through customs and baggage claim, exchanging or withdrawing Thai Baht, and finding our Thai friend who would play our host and tour guide for the next three days before she departed for a Sri Lankan wedding.
The first thing I noticed was that Bangkok was more urban and first world than I had expected. Sure, it's no New York City, but it was fairly cosmopolitan compared to what I had envisioned. Our hostel was the nicest hostel I'd ever stayed in, and not unfairly priced at about $10 a person. As we had arrived rather late, we opted to go to the Patpong area (the traditional red light district [not the reason we visited]) for some late street food dinner. This is where we had our first encounter with a tuk tuk.
For those unawares, a tuk tuk is a scooter powered mode of transportation wherein a passenger cart is attached to the scooter not unlike a carriage is attached to a horse. In Bangkok, the tuk tuks were a little bit nicer and comprised of one solid chassis, as though the horse melded with the carriage.
On our first full day, we rented a minivan that could fit all nine of us uncomfortably in seven seats and drove about two hours outside of Bangkok to a floating market.
At first, this floating market was sparse, yet touristy, and not unlike the canals that I floated down in Japan. Eventually, however, they opened up to a series of navigable canals and shops that locals and tourists alike enjoyed. In fact, they enjoyed it so much that at times there were traffic jams. 
This is also where I got my first taste of authentic Thailand Thai pad thai. And I got it from a bee keeper. Well, not literally a bee keeper, but there were a ton of bees swarming around that woman. Her pad thai was good though.
That night, after a crazy delicious suckling pig (featured in Anthony Bordain) we visited the infamous Khao San Road. Khao San Road is known internationally as the backpacker central of Bangkok. Here, you will find the most international (read: Western) flavor in the city. Usually, this flavor is young and European. It is certainly a place to see some strange things if you look carefully (llllllllllllllllllllllllllladyboyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!).
Day two consisted of a jaunt over to the Grand Palace, home of the King of Thailand.
This place was, of course, majestic and full of all sorts of gold and silver and emeralds (and tourists). I recalled something that my grandfather had said when he visited Thailand. "I couldn't understand how there was this King's Palace that was filled with gold, but right outside the walls were people living in shacks everywhere." Things have surely changed since his visit, but I could then see what he meant. There were loads of vendors selling all sorts of trinkets and food just outside the palace gates, most likely earning them a pittance to live on while enough gold existed just meters away to feed everyone there for a lifetime.
Just a hop away from the Grand Palace was Wat Pho, the permanent home of the largest reclining Buddha in the wizzorld...dawg.
Spladow!Also, it has a tree in the garden that was supposedly budded from the tree that Buddha sat under to find enlightenment. Or maybe a fourteenth generation Buddha tree.
That night we saw Muai Thai...for five hours. It was probably the best part of Bangkok.
This traditional form of kickboxing is a lot more exciting than it sounds (and it sounds really exciting), especially in a dinky Bangkok arena full of bellowing Thai spectators. It was so funny to hear one side erupt in a unanimous "Hoah!" every time their boxer kicked his opponent, only to hear the other side of the arena "Hoah!" when the opponent kicked back. Many times, it was like a call and answer. Also not understood: the gambling system that took place in the upper echelons of this arena. It sounded like screaming and pointing and went on until the last round of each match.
In keeping with the tradition of trying local Thai food, on this night I sampled fried grasshopper. Yes, in case you were wondering, it tastes like chicken. Someone's got a picture of it somewhere, surely.
Even one Buddha got caught in a tree!
It was really neat and definitely belonged in some movie. Oh wait, it was in some movie. Anyone remember Mortal Kombat? Uh huh.
That evening, I drunkenly and regretfully bought a pink Bob Marley shirt (obviously designed for a female in mind) in anticipation for our morning departure for Phuket.
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