There are few single artists, yet literally dozens of "boy bands" and "girl bands." It seems with each passing year, each new "model," like a new car model, adds more gimmicks and gadgets to sell more product. Over the course of the year I have been here, I have been exposed to a number of Korean pop idols. I have heard all of the following songs at some point or another (I think...a lot of them do sound the same), and, admittedly, some have grown on me due to their catchiness and repetitive bombardment whenever in public. I will let you know when I mention one that has captured what's left of my hollow, withered heart. As far as I can gather, here are the top ten most famous Korean pop artists in order of number of members:
2NE1
If you say it real fast, it sounds like "twenty-one." Clever, right? This four person girl group is what I assume the equivalent of early nineties TLC without the soul and with a lot more fake crap. At least I think that's what they're trying to be. Upon closer inspection, I assume they're simply trying not to be retarded.
2AM
2AM is a four piece ballad group that sprung from the previous group "One Day" in 2008. "One Day" stemmed from a goddamn TV show. I know it's hard to tell, but this is a boy band. Try not to cry when they tell you how much they miss you in Korean.
Wonder Girls
Ok, now we get to the first girl group whose song I can tolerate/somewhat enjoy. This is because I've heard it so many times and my brain recognizes that as repeated exposure. Yet my mind, my damned mind, enjoys the catchy chorus. Let it be known that I'm not the only non-Korean to enjoy this catchy tune. In 2009, this song became the first song by a Korean group to enter the Billboard Top 100 at number 76. I find myself clapping along when it comes on. It also helps that each of the five Wonder Girls is perfect physically. But, damn it! That's not supposed to be important! Those damn record labels are good at what they do.
Big Bang
Big Bang (or BIGBANG if you care about that sort of thing) is a five piece "boy" band that is proud to claim G-Dragon, the one member who was accused of plagiarism twice on his solo output. He's the biggest douche in the video. I know it's hard to tell which one is the biggest douche, but he's there, I assure you. And his name is G-Dragon. Come on. Anyway, I don't know a whole lot more about these guys except that they, also sadly, came from a TV show.
Kara
The few things I know about Kara is that they have five members, were featured on Pizza E-Tang's pizza boxes, and were transfixed on the TV one time at Snow Bar in Daegu. Other than that, I bet if you switched the members of Kara with the members of any of the previously mentioned girl groups, I wouldn't be able to tell so long as they sang Kara tunes. I do think they are being marketed as the "cutsiest" of the groups. Here's "Lupin," a catchy one that I kinda like.
Beast
Beast is a six person boy group that doesn't seem to understand the line between men's and women's fashion. Standing for "Boys of the EAst Standing Tall" (wtf, mate?), Beast is easily (and that's saying something huge) the most effeminate boy band I know. That makes their name pretty ironic at that point, acronym or no. Here's a song for you incorrectly called "Breath." I believe they meant "Breathe" as that is what they say in the chorus.
2PM
Yes, we saw 2AM up there, and this is no typo. If you recall, 2AM sprung from a crap pile called "Big Day." Well, so did 2PM. It was a six/four split, making "Big Day" a ten person pile of crap. While 2AM took on the role of ballads, 2PM went more the route of ballad disguised as electronica dance music backing faux hip hop and a minimally catchy chorus. Have you noticed my trend between liking and disliking a Korean group? Anyway, here's their song for you.
T-ara
Pronounced "tiara," this seven member group has seven members who are younger than me. Two of them are under eighteen. Just making their debut in 2009, they are "last year's model." It seems 2009 was the year of "more is better." Five wasn't cutting it any more, so they added two more to round it out to a nice even (or lucky?) seven. They came out with this hit called "I Go Crazy Because of You" and it hasn't even slowed down since I first heard it. Probably the third most popular song in Asia.
Girls Generation (소녀시대)
The original Samsung go-to hit maker, Girls Generation has been around for ages: since 2007. That's ancient in the Korean hit making world. They hold the record for longest charting single in Korea with "Gee" running for 9 consecutive weeks. Also, Samsung is a follower of the "more is better" camp as well, as Girls Generation has 9 members, and I can name two of them. Is that scary? Anyway, this is probably the song I've heard the most in Korea, ever. Ke$ha did an English remake of it, it was so popular. Run Devil Run.
Super Junior
Not to be topped by mere women, the boys win for most members in a band with Super Junior. They need thirteen talentless hacks to win the hearts of adolescent girls everywhere. Not surprisingly, they are also a product of the Samsung Corporation. Bigger is better. This song is the reason that most students know the English word "sorry." Seriously. I'm not kidding you.
So, have you noticed a trend? Yes, I like all the girl bands and none of the boy bands. So what? They all had plastic surgery anyway. They're manufactured to be attractive. It's all about image, right? The trend I was referring to is that each song consists of a Korean verse and a partially English chorus. I can't argue with that in that it helps kids learn English, but it's pretty much guaranteed drivel that they will forget in less than a year and it will also tear away at their soul. I wonder if there's a kid in Korea who likes Led Zeppelin or Thin Lizzy. I'm not gonna hold my breath (breathe?).
By the way, I'm jam.
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