The Lion's Den

So, my fellow English teachers will understand me when I say the Koreans have something resembling a communication problem. I'm not bashing their English, no. I mean they tend not to tell us things. Or, if they do, they are vague about any pertinent details so we're left wondering for a while.

I was told a few days earlier that on Wednesday we were to go watch our teachers' volleyball team play. I thought, cool, it'll be just like the last time when we all went out to the playground and hit a ball around. No, sir or ma'am. This was epic. This was a tournament being held in Duryu Park for a ton of schools. This was a serious event.

So I came fairly ill prepared (at least I remembered my bitchin' shades) as usual and proceed to get sunburned...again. Hey, at least I'm working on a spicy red base tan, right? Anyway, my school lost their first two games, thus they were eliminated from the tourney pretty early on. We found some shade in the stands and watched the remainder of the games enjoying the quiet solace of a beer. I think the best part of the whole thing was when this giant dust tornado came sweeping through the field of play and literally blew things away. I'm talking shade tents into the bleachers strong. One of the coolest things I've seen in a while.

I tell you what. My teachers may have lost, but they definitely party helluva harder than my Western friends. That night, I did something I've never done before. I mixed 5 different types of alcohol. Beer, soju, cognac, wine, and makkeoli. The quintuple threat. That was a party. First, we went to this restaurant where I ate very little due to the spiciness (first course. RED HOT RED HOT RED HOT) or the gross factor (second course). I'm not a huge fan of unidentifiable slimey fish things that resemble snot in both consistency and taste. So, having a somewhat light dinner, the alcohol put an extra spin on things (pun intended). It didn't help that later we went to a makkeoli joint and the principal made me chug numerous bowls with him. Later still, all the women teachers were told to leave (what a culture, right?) and the men (I was told) converted to using extremely salty language. Guys night! I was taught two of the worst words in the Korean language, but I, of course, forgot them. Now how am I going to pick up chicks?

The general topic of the night was not how handsome I was, surprisingly. Instead, it was how much everyone loves me and how they can tell I care about the childrenses. They really know how to flatter a guy in this country. I tell you what. I think they're trying to get me to stay here forever. Admittedly, when the number 3 in charge at my school (what do you call that? Speaker of the House?) held my hand under the table as he talked to me I started to miss home a little bit.

Speaking of, I got beef with you, America. Riddle me this: how come in Korea, when you're too drunk to drive your own car home, you can call a company who will send a guy out to drive your car home with you in it for around $10, but in America you have to take an expensive taxi or drive drunk? And if it's because some jerk would file a lawsuit because the driver didn't drive his car perfectly, then I'm going to punch Uncle Sam in the face. Who's the backwards country, now?

So, today was fire drill day all around Korea. Instead of being just a lame fire drill where all the kids line up outside just to go back inside five minutes later, they get the fire department to bring in a truck and give a demonstration of the cool toys they get to play with.
This included a quick seminar on how to use a fire extinguisher (they actually lit a fire on the dirt playground and one lucky student got to put it out). All in all a better experience than the fire drills we used to have in school. I actually chuckled in awe at one point. Them cannons shoot far, bra!